Dave Landau FLUNKS Good Will Hunting Episode 58 GTSC podcast

GSC 58 | Good Will Hunting

Fan-favorite @LandauDave from The Anthony Cumia Show on Compound Media returns! Dave hates Good Will Hunting like Will’s friends hate SMAHT kids. Does he convince @KevinGootee and @KevinIsrael_NJ that this film is worse than a pony-tailed douchebag quoting early economics to women at bars? Or is his argument worse than the Southie Boston accent?

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Dave Landau FLUNKS Good Will Hunting

We brought back one of our absolute favorites, Dave Landau, doing Good Will Hunting. You may have noticed that this episode is a little longer than most. Why? It’s because it is that funny. Dave brought out the best in us and vice versa. I guarantee, without any disrespect to our past guests, that this is a top-three episode. It is that funny. We get down to the rabbit hole and a lot of things. It is hilarious. I would not have kept it in there if it wasn’t. Trust me on that. If I’m wrong, tell me in the comment sections. We will keep that in mind for the next episodes and go back to our usual time.

Thank you all for helping us get to number 32 on the iTunes Top 100 Movie Film Review list. That’s so awesome. How did we get there? You are telling your friends, spreading the word, and writing those 5-star ratings in 2 to 3 sentences reviews. Those help. Thank you so much. Please continue to do so. If you have not yet done so, give us that review on your platform of choice. Without further ado, here’s Dave Landau doing Good Will Hunting.

“Blue Horseshoe loves Anacott Steel.” Kevin Israel, name that film.

I have no idea.

This is a bad streak you’re on now. How about you, our esteemed guest Dave Landau from The Anthony Cumia Show? Any idea what that film is from?

You got me.

Wall Street.

That was the name of the airline. I knew it.

Here we are on the show. We’re back. Kevin Israel, how are you? What’s going on?

I’m good. What’s happening with you?

I’m making magic happen. Let’s take one hot second and thank our audience because of you. We hit number 32 on the iTunes Top 100 film reviews. You guys and girls are great. Thank you so much. Keep those 5-star ratings and 2 to 3 sentences reviews coming in. We listen to our fans. That is why we have brought back the lovable, affable, and hilarious Dave Landau. What’s up, Dave? How are you doing?

How are you, Kevins? Did you see how I did that?

You work the room like the wizard you are.

That’s what you do. You play to the crowd.

Dave and I made each other giggle for an hour while Dave did Philadelphia. The crowd outpouring was so much, so we got to get Landau back. I said, “Sustained,” as they say in legal terms. Dave is excited to come back and do a film. This is a pretty daunting task. He has chosen Good Will Hunting. A 1997 budget of $10 million and a haul of $225.9 million. In 2020 dollars, that’s $16.2 million and a $366 million haul. That’s a Blair Witch ROI we’re talking about.

I was not aware of the low budget.

I don’t think anybody got paid for that movie.

It’s very Gus Van Sant.

We’ll get to that. That is for sure. IMDb is a scale of 1 through 10 with decimal points. We will go with our guests first. Dave, what did Good Will Hunting score on the IMDb scale?

I got to go 7.1.

Kevin Israel?

I’m going to go way higher than that. I’m going to go 9.1.

8.3.

We’re right in the middle there.

Kevin Israel, as you know, Rotten Tomatoes is a 1% through 100% score. What did the critics give Good Will Hunting?

I would’ve gotten in the 90s, but because of the IMDb rating, I’m going to have to drop down a little bit. I’m going to say 87%.

Dave Landau?

I’m going to go 76%.

98%. This was a critics’ darling. I remember that very well. I’m surprised you didn’t go in the 90s. The IMDb tripped off a little bit. I get that, but now this was the 90s we’re looking. Kevin Israel, give the audience score.

It’s 92%.

Dave?

I was going to say 93%, but now I’m thinking 105%. I’m going to go 93%.

It’s 94%. Both showcases for Dave Landau.

If this price is right, I would have been stabbing you in the head.

That is something.

“How do you like them apples?” That was where I laughed at. “You bench? Yeah, 285. What about you? Did you paint that over there? I then told him to screw himself. I swallowed a bug. It’s a damn joke, but it works better if I tell him in the first person.” That’s a comics line right there. Kevin Israel, what stood out to you?

I’ve said this one. It’s drunk, “My boy’s wicked smart.” This one always stuck with me, and watching it again is such a creepy line, “Sometimes people get lucky. You’re a brilliant man.” It’s the scene where the TA is comforting the other guy putting his hands on him. That always creeped me out so much.

When I saw this in the theater, I thought that he was going to kill Matt Damon because he was jealous that Professor Lambeau was giving him all the attention instead of the creepy TA. How many TAs in films have been creepy? That’s one. Let’s go with the creepy guy from Road Trip. Was there a new one in Old School? I haven’t seen Old School.

Was it the Animal House?

The professor was creepy in Animal House.

Donald Sutherland is creepy.

Was he banging Karen Allen?

He’s just walking around without any pants on.

Old School did have Kevin, but he had an assistant. He was the one that gives the line like, “It’s funny. They’re very good at paperwork,” and it’s like, “Are they funny? Are you a stand-up comedian now?” Neither Jeremy Piven.

He had to tone down his douchiness for that role.

GSC 58 | Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting: Your boy is the smartest guy imaginable, but you guys spend all the time keeping them down and beating people up.

He had to find something because he got, “Me too,” and he goes, “What else can I do? That’s an entourage. Maybe I can pay someone to have an act for me for 45 minutes to go play levity live.”

I met him. It was a real pleasure for a human being.

Where his hair plugs are sweating as he shook your hand?

He was wearing a hat when I met him, but I took a picture and said, “I met the great Ari Gold tonight.” He was very insincere. He lives up to his reputation.

Fun fact. Do you know that he was mercury poisoned because all he did was eat sushi all the time?

I heard about that. Did he collapse on set or something like that?

I believe so. I know he walks around like big sunhats if you ever googled how he dresses. Stephen Dorff is nice too. He picked a fight with him in the middle of a restaurant for no reason.

He was in this movie in the early ‘90s. It must have been like his first movie where he was an aspiring screenwriter. He gave tours of Hollywood on a bus during the day. I remember thinking it’s like a lifetime movie. It was such a bad movie, but that’s what kickstarted his career.

He was in One Crazy Summer. I remember that.

He was also in Lucas. I didn’t see that until later. I think he was a defensive lineman or a quarterback. Even back in 1985, he was losing his hair. That sucks.

They say Corey Haim got bangs next to a trailer by Charlie Sheen using Crisco as lube. Fun fact.

That’s some highfalutin crap right there.

Sorry to your audience. It’s why Charlie Sheen has a lot of AIDS than Corey Haim is dead.

He’s the one who screwed the hot out of Denise Richards, and here we are. Corey Haim is dead. One more fun fact. My wife told me this. I’ve been googling. This is all off the cuff that he, Piven, and John Cusack were best friends in Chicago. Cusack’s mom or dad owned an acting studio. They came up together. Cusack got so many roles for Piven as they were coming up. When Piven popped and left Cusack in the dust, Piven hated him for an amount of his life, and Cusack hated him for not returning the favor. I heard this third-hand from my wife. We need a producer to Google this instead of us talking about it.

It does seem right because they were good pals. They were in Grosse Pointe Blank together, which is a great movie.

It’s time for the real Five Fun Facts. My wife gave me this fun fact that I googled, and it’s true. Matt Damon did the most savage breakup in the history of mankind. He dumped Minnie Driver on Oprah. Oprah said, “Matt, are you in a relationship?” He goes, “No, I’m single,” despite being in a relationship with Minnie Driver for over a year.

That is better or worse than texting.

That’s way worse. You get embarrassing 65 million housewives and flower dresses in moo dresses.

He was putting himself out there to a sea of disgusting women. That may get that date time with Oprah’s audience so sopping wet.

I can’t wait to go to their house and thumb through their Time-Life series while taking a dump post-coital.

That’s going to be great. Tom Cruise jump on a couch doing things on this show is a good idea.

Castle Rock, the company that made the film, had Damon and Affleck rewrite after rewrite. Affleck and Damon didn’t feel like they were getting anywhere, so they slipped a gay sex scene into the script. None of the executives said a word.

That’s probably what they were going for. They’re like, “You should ride more. You too, handsome lads.”

On the opening night, they were like, “I thought you were screwing Ben Affleck in this? What happened to that scene?”

He’s pulling him by the lapels of his Boston Red Sox jacket while viciously butt-screwing him going. “It’s not your fault.” Kevin Smith helped get the movie made. Did you know that for Fun Fact number three? Matt Damon and Affleck asked him to direct, but Kevin Smith said, “He wasn’t good enough.” Who stepped in and was directing it for a minute? Matt Damon asked him to politely step aside because this director wasn’t moving fast enough. I’ll give you a hint. A-lister, a huge name in the ‘90s.

A-list director or actor?

Tarantino?

Tarantino’s a no. Kevin?

Rodriguez.

Can we get the guy to Sleepwalkers and Dolores Claiborne?

The terrible TV version of The Shining. Is he available?

Kevin, a guess or no?

No idea.

Mel Gibson.

That would have been good. It probably would’ve had a different message.

“You say fuck a lot. Can we substitute the word fuck with the word Jews in there after the fuck?”

Some people in Boston hate the Jews. Let’s work that angle.

I see we have Cole Hauser here. You played a Nazi in Higher Learning. Your mind is just coming to net garb.

You get Michael Rappaport in a newsboy hat, and we’re ready to roll. Robin Williams shows one of the bars as one of the locations after Matt Damon and Affleck took him on tour around South Boston. In fact, some of the drunk locals even try to fight Affleck. How more bossy can you get than that?

Number five. Director Gus Van Sant wanted to kill Affleck’s character by, “Having him getting flattened like a bug on a construction site.” He also wanted Damon’s character to get killed by Carmine, the guy they got into a fight with on the playground, which eventually got Matt Damon sent to jail. He goes, “It’s a bad idea,” and changes it.

I’m not going to lie. Getting killed by Carmine might have been a better ending. It would have been ironic a little bit.

I have to see about a girl catchphrase, you silly dolts. I’m dying to hear these arguments.

I’m sorry. I’m listening to the facts on how many things I don’t enjoy about this movie.

Kevin, I don’t want to keep this animal cage any longer than he has to. Let’s have Dave Landau start to Gut The Sacred Cow.

With this new Mel Gibson information, it’s important to say the name of the movie is Good Will Hunting. The lead character’s name is Will Hunting. Do I win now? If you give someone a Jewish kid named Max Smart, it’s the worst character name. It makes Jack Reacher seem Shakespearian. It is the worst title ever. Good Will Hunting is about a guy named Will Hunting who becomes good. It’s the worst. Saying it out loud makes me upset. When I saw the movie in the theater, I was like, “His name is Will Hunting?” They had a bunch of notes for him, and not one producer was like, “Maybe we don’t name him Will Hunting.” That’s where I’m starting. The crappiest character name ever, Will Hunting.

That’s not a criticism I never thought of, but fair.

So much of this movie 'Good Will Hunting' is just scenes from a goddamn TGIF sitcom with window dressing. That's all that was. Click To Tweet

This is the one that they had the title before the movie. It’s like Reindeer Games.

That’s another Ben Affleck classic or Gigli. Anything with him in a name got to work out. That’s my first point. Let’s start with the opening credits. Are you guys want to go more on that?

This is your canvas. Do what you want.

In the opening credits, first of all, you’re a fly on a wall in Matt Damon’s apartment. You’re like, “This is going to be two hours of this.” When you get into this first credit, let’s talk about the fact that he’s a bad kid from the wrong side of the tracks. He’s also twenty years old, has his own apartment, and all the Abercrombie & Fitch money he can buy. He’s the same broke kid the way that Jennifer Aniston is a broke waitress on Friends living in a Manhattan high rise. Immediately, you’re like, “He’s doing phenomenal for somebody who’s twenty years old and works at MIT.” Maybe it’s custodian, but it’s still a job where he’s probably pulling in $35,000 to $40,000 a year.

It looks like a mansion that was bombed after a certain Sarajevo in that apartment.

It’s a little messy, and we’re supposed to go, “This guy clearly has been abused his whole life.” The second one is still in Skarsgård. I’m an intellectual Skars. He might as well have a beret and a cigarette in every scene and talk down to people over and over again. He’s the most stereotypical cliché version of a character. Whoever did wardrobe was like, “I’ve put zero thought into this. This is a smart guy.”

The only thing missing were elbow patches, a pipe, and an eyebrow arch.

It should have been pantless Donald Sutherland going, “This is my job.”

His voice was enough to establish that he was smart. He has that accent. He has that manner of speaking. He could have been wearing a sock, and you would’ve been like, “That’s probably a smart guy.”

Also, a scarf on him. He’s an MIT professor.

You’re like, “Look at how smart his scarf is.” You want to choke him out with it. It’s distracting.

I remember the scene where they started, and he didn’t have the scarf on. They were like, “Put the scarf on.”

I understand that you’re saying things that are intelligent, but the crowd is not going to know without the scarf and a hat on him.

I have seen less fruity scars in Harry Potter films.

I’m going to go the score. It’s good on Danny Elfman doing the Danny Elfman thing for a change, but the whole movie sounds like it’s going to prance in a scene with a flute and tell us a riddle. Every few minutes, it’s this weird sound where it’s like, “Guess what’s going to happen next?” It almost comes off like a bad ‘90s sitcom like Boy Meets World score to an Oscar-winning movie. It’s very Muppets take Manhattan, but it’s about Boston street toughs who have their own apartments. The fight where he gets arrested and beats up that guy is Levi’s 501 commercial with fists. The entire thing is shot like a ‘90s ad for jeans. I can’t even take it seriously.

It’s a song that was playing.

It’s terrible. You’re just watching it, and you’re like, “He’s going to jail, but are those button flies?”

It made the fight look fun. I thought the fight looked like a good time.

It’s supposed to be a pivotal part where it’s supposed to be the opposite of a good time, yet it looks like, “It’s a bunch of Boston street toughs and cool pants.”

It’s like a Donnybrook with, “Is that fly button?” Was that catchphrase back then?

I remember when I bought a pair of button flies and was like, “This is the most inconvenient thing I’ve ever put on my body.” Especially when I was drunk, I got to piss. You got to work six buttons.

It takes Dave extra long to get his dick out so a scoutmaster could blow him back in 1987.

That’s why I was an alcoholic. He kept getting me drunk while we shared a sleeping bag. I would be blowing him, “It’s not your fault.” Let’s talk about that line now that you’ve brought it up, “It’s not your fault.” If therapy for angry young men were that easy, Sue Klebold wouldn’t be an author.

I didn’t catch your reference. I don’t know Sue Klebold.

Dylan Klebold shot up Columbine. If it were easy enough, there wouldn’t be a plaque in the front of that school if all you had to do was pull them aside and go, “It’s not your fault.”

That was the end of your Master’s thesis in every psychology program. If nothing else works, it’s not your fault.

Say it to him over and over again while he cries in your office after he mocked sexual abuse, but then we’re supposed to take a beating seriously, which does happen in the movie. It’s like, “Molestation. Whatever. My dad was mean.” Yes, but he got you an apartment. You’re pretty well.

He had a nice wardrobe.

You’re doing fine, Abercrombie, and your jeans. No one would show up as a spectator to Lambeau’s class because they give a crap about the identity of the math bandit.

That’s the worst Hardy Boys book ever.

It’s the worst pointless scene.

I have to admit and completely disagree with you. I have one of my best friends in high school. His brother went to MIT. He came back with all of his bunch of college buddies back. They were all exactly like that. They were aware. They knew they were super dorks, and they loved whatever it was they were talking about and were into. We were there as stupid little high school kids, and they were making fun of us in their MIT way. I remember thinking like, “I’m so glad I’m not that smart.” They have a disease, and it’s intelligence.

It’s autism.

It’s like, “Look at that guy. He’s going only max out at $175,000 a year.”

My buddy, Jesse, went to MIT. I guess he could have been that kind of kid. What we used to do is we used to dress in Adidas tracksuits, call him queer, and beat him up. Those are the two kinds of people at MIT. There are smart kids and the people who beat up smart kids, even though they hang out with a closeted smart kid, but everybody knows he’s a smart kid.

It gets lectured for being a smart kid and not taking advantage of being a smart kid.

Who sits around and says, “Let’s go beat up some smart kids?” It’s never happened. Maybe that day you said that to your friends, Kevin. Other than that, I don’t think anybody has ever said that to anyone. It’s an unrealistic dialogue. I believe Cole Hauser is more as Remy.

It’s the second time he made a Higher Learning reference in this show. It’s hilarious.

I love the last ten minutes of that movie.

I didn’t see that film until months ago. That’s what it was all about. Tyra Banks hits a bullet, and everyone feels bad in the end.

It was like, “Boys in the hood,” and then John Singleton was like, “Here’s Higher Learning.” We were like, “Dear.” He then was like, “Here’s Fast and Furious.” We’re like, “I’m glad you’re dead.”

The program came out before Higher Learning.

I loved the program. We then went and saw Higher Learning. I was like, “This must be the same movie.” It was not the same movie. That was the mid to late ‘90s that had a bunch of racists theme. One zebra head, remember that one?

That was pretty good.

There was a bunch of those like, “We were on the racist theme,” and then twenty years later, we’re setting stuff on fire.

They were trying to create change, and then it never worked.

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Good Will Hunting: I feel that anybody from the generation before us who wanted to be famous was allowed to be famous because people didn’t really go against the grain.

Menace II Society made you want to hang out with them. I bought a Mustang 5.0 Fox-body because of that dude. I’m like, “I want to be like Caine.” I didn’t jack anybody for rims. I do like the Charles Dutton speech. We’ll do the Southie cosplay and SNL Boston kids’ accents, particularly Ben Affleck, his approximation of a working-class guy when he’s not trying to be Vince Vaughn.

He comes off like a jock at a private academy. He was trying to make fun of somebody who goes to a private school. That’s all I can get from him. He doesn’t come off real at all. It’s probably why half of Boston was trying to beat the crap out of him while he was playing that character like, “Who is this guy?” Somehow he managed to pull it off in the town. I’ll give him that.

That’s a good one, also Mallrats. I love Mallrats. He worked in a mall. Fashionable Male is the title of the store.

Remember that terrible six-button Steve Harvey suit? That’s what Structure sold. I forgot about that.

I might have had a couple.

I did. I went in there and was like, “This is good for a twelve-year-old.”

Did you both audition for Lou Pearlman to get in a boy band?

I did an all-White suburban play of New Jack City.

Are you Nino Brown or Pookie?

I was Pookie. I smoked crack in an American flag shirt, and there was no play.

It was just called Tuesday.

The fact that the starting point of Will’s life isn’t that he’s all that bad, even this whole movie is supposed to be that he’s bad. He’s twenty years old. From that moment, he doesn’t come off as a bad guy in the beginning. He comes off as a janitor who happens to solve a Math problem. You’re supposed to go well. The movie could never be made nowadays because the whole idea is we’re just supposed to root for a White kid to get out of his own way.

This could ever be made now because it wasn’t a trans janitor solving the problem.

He wouldn’t even solve a Math problem. He would cross out a drawing of a dick.

He’ll yell, “Is that his fingers?”

The scene where the dude catches him writing on the chalkboard automatically assumes he’s screwing with the work and clearly not a genius. This seems so over the top where he’s like, “What is this janitor doing with this math when he’s a janitor who’s solving the Math problem?” It’s a whole cliché.

Why wouldn’t he have thought he was like cleaning it? It’s like, “Don’t clean that off. We need that. I wrote ‘do not erase on there.’“

It’s this ridiculously tense scene in the way no one would behave in that situation ever.

Doesn’t he say, “Don’t graffiti that?” Graffiti is a verb for smart kids.

For such a smart guy, he doesn’t seem to know stuff.

He could go back and draw a big d*** on that blackboard to prove a point.

That’s what it was. He walks up to it like, “You’re the janitor. Clearly, you’re drawing c*** all over the Math work.” That’s going to be my first assumption because you’re a bad guy from the wrong side of the tracks. The guy who schools at the bar is a lonesome caricature that only exists to be dunked on. After he finishes telling him off, there should be a, “Wooh,” from the studio audience. The movie doubles back on the, “How them apples,” when it isn’t like he didn’t win the argument anyway.

Will was just spitting back a bunch of information from books he had read, nothing original. Going up against what the other guy had read, he was just further in the curriculum that he was teaching himself in his spare time. He’ll drive past Will on his way to a ski trip. We’ll be pushing down a Brook Nova at a Sinclair Station one day because this has nothing to do with education. It’s about the fact that this guy has money, he’s going to be fine, despite wearing sweater vests, and the fact that that’s how he thinks you pick up a chick by talking down to her, but books you’ve never heard.

He looked like one of the three guys in The Mean Street Posse back from the WWF days and the Raw Attitude in the 1999 year. Shane McMahon skies The Mean Street Posse.

They hate smart kids, but then their friend pulls that out, and they’re like, “How you like them apples?” Your boy is the smartest guy imaginable, but you guys spend all the time keeping him down and beating people up. He has no real friends.

It’s a vicious circle.

You then have the right honorable judge info dump who conveniently pounds on Will’s background as Lambeau serendipitously wanders. It was arrangements just in time to catch it all. He’s a handsome, ridiculously intelligent young White guy who wants to punch a cop, not get shot, and get parole for various legitimate reasons, then fart on everyone who parts the sea for him in order to have an amazing life. Movies like this are why SJWs think being a White guy is what they think it is.

Without this movie, people would think we had it hard, but they’re like, “This guy is doing great. He’s White and angry.” The park bench scene where he sits there and listens to Robin Williams just because, also, he’s only a Vietnam vet for the sake of being able to tell him he’s never had to watch his buddies die. That was a convenient piece of dialogue rammed in there.

The only reason why you even believe it is because you’ve seen Good Morning, Vietnam. Otherwise, you wouldn’t even connect him to being a Vietnam soldier. He doesn’t bench 285. Anyway, I’d love that they decided a widower wasn’t sympathetic enough, and they had to shoehorn, and he watched his buddy die. They’re like, “You’re going to lose your wife, but let’s talk about what it’s like to be face down in a rice paddy in Da Nang. Maybe talk about an ear necklace.”

It’s like Universal Soldier.

It’s just rammed in there, and then it’s never brought up again. Everything about his trauma is still his dead wife and not the Vietcong that he saw the life come out of their eyes.

As you put a knife in their thorax going, “Shh.”

I look in the mirror and say, “It’s not my fault when I think about rape and burning down a village.” My dad was a Vietnam vet. He’s not big into therapy. I don’t feel that’s a thing they all get into. It is like, “PTSD what?” I should have brought this up earlier, the Ben Affleck in the suit scene. Much of this movie is scenes from a TGIF sitcom with window dressing. That’s all that was if you tell me that wasn’t your Boy Meets World.

He’s Cody from Step By Step.

It’s a 100 pounds Sasha Mitchell living in the backyard in a van, putting up crap to his wife’s face.

He also plays a role in Kickboxers II and III.

Cody was the cousin that lived in the van out back and Patrick Duffy.

He was Suzanne Somers and the dopey brunette chick easily.

Also, probably the kid with the mullet.

Also, the nerd with the glasses too.

They have a bunch of extra rooms. I could probably just stay in there if they let me.

It’s like, “That’s all right. You’re like Keanu Reeves, and we need you to lift the mystery machine out in the yard for some reason why it’s a show. Let’s open on a rollercoaster.” My friends and I were talking about this. I feel that anybody from the generation before us who wanted to be famous was allowed to be famous. They didn’t step outside and go against the grain. It was like, “I want to be in SNL.” They were like, “Sure.” That’s why when you look at the first cast, it’s not that they’re bad. They’re great in their own right, but do you see that cast making it now?

Dave’s on it now, so that equalizes that argument out.

I eat my words. That’s on you. I stand corrected. The scene where he burns the paper is from a Lifetime movie with Damon buying the abusive husband, and the Skarsgård is the battered wife, complete with him walking out on Lambeau before he can finish what he’s saying. It’s such a hacky scene. I feel like Matt Damon was watching a movie and was like, “I’m going to take these words and switch the characters around. Instead of Meredith Baxter Birney holding a steak on her eye, we’re going to have this.”

What a good esoteric reference there back to Birney.

It’s a sitcom mom and woman getting beat by Lorenzo Lamas for twenty years.

Every smart person in the movie doesn't have to be the biggest douche bag, while every good-hearted person is just somebody who beats up April for being smarter than they are. Click To Tweet

Let’s wait for five more minutes, and then Dave’s going to bring up the guy with the name who played Skippy on Family Ties as well.

By the way, I was thinking of Lorenzo Lamas. Do you remember a show called I Am Hot? It was a reality show where Lorenzo Lamas was one of the judges and it was just hot people coming out and them judging why or why not they were hot.

Remember the website Hot or Not?

That’s what the show was called. It was called Hot or Not.

Rate My Poo is another one of my favorites. You take a photo of your crap and rate it from 1 to 10.

It was Lorenzo Lamas as well. It was just him.

It was called the Renegade.

Who’s going to shoehorn a Thunder Bay reference next?

Those are two shows that make Walker, Texas Ranger look like an Emmy-winning series.

They will be putting it in Baywatch, so it was like, “I’m making my own.”

It is on a hydrofoil war machine boat in Canada where a lot of international crime takes place.

They had to go to the most random place on the Earth to commit the crime. Why even here? You’re funneling money into Miami.

It was probably the show runner’s hometown like, “Do you know how I’m going this show sold? I’m going to make it the town that he grew up in, and he’s going to have no choice but to say yes. Five minutes later, green lights.”

We have a tax break as well, but it was just the Canadian dollar difference.

You’re saving a bunch of toonies and loonies everywhere you look.

Also, if they’re changing the stripper I grew up with.

It’s that too. My buddy is sitting doing that. That was hilarious. He used to take the oil guns and squirt the pole so they’d slide off and fall.

It’s always amazing because we go over there at nineteen. I grew up in Detroit, so you go over there and slap that loonie onto the stage and watch this poor drug addict woman pick them all up. It’s a handful of gold coins.

She says, “What the heck is this little boot?”

“Can I get a toonie?” You gave her five toonies for a lap dance.

She then has to go out and feed herself at Tim Horton’s donuts.

That’s all there is. There are no other foods.

Everybody reading this is furiously googling toonies and loonies.

This episode is chock full of Google-able moments. I promise you.

Our readers would have a Windows up now, “Thunder Bay?”

They Google like, “What is a Lorenzo Lamas?”

This episode is going to be a panty-dropper for all you people who are in esoteric references like the ‘80s and ‘90s pop culture. The three of us got that stuff covered in spades.

He picked the wrench because screw him. You don’t become a Math wiz getting beaten by a wrench since you were a child. You hang yourself after getting cut by the Ravens. It’s just not realistic. Best case scenario, you kill yourself with your own weighed bench along with your family.

We’re getting the wrestling crowd back into it after the whole COVID reference.

The shot of him staring up at the ceiling gave me hope that he would hang himself. It then cuts to him walking into an office and getting an amazing job where she bloats off for a reliable, not at all shaky prospect of a quirky woman in her twenties. If he shows up at Stanford revealing a Skylar, the name that drove across the country for her, she’s going to look at him like he texted her because of his flat p***s. It doesn’t matter because his car isn’t going to make it past. This thing is 3,100 miles away. It’s going to break down, and he’ll be out of another job.

That thing is going to die out by mass turnpike.

People think William Goldman wrote the script because it was too good to have been written by Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, to which I say hardly that they clearly wrote. If they wrote it, it’s a crappy movie. It’s done by first-time writers. It’s very hacky. It has all the parts to make it a bad movie. They perpetuate the movie. They missed that it was good. It was written on the back of a golden ticket.

Ben Affleck is really a meathead, but then he has that moment where he’s got all this clarity and starts saying wise things about how they’re stuck with that, and Matt Damon needs to take advantage of this opportunity. Idiots don’t know they’re idiots. They react violently because they’re idiots. There’s no way this meathead has this great moment of clarity where he’s all empathetic towards Matt Damon. It completely breaks his character for the entire movie when he’s like, “You got to go follow that because I love you.” It’s a hacky scene pulled from every other movie.

I wrote it down when he had a speech. It’s like when Homer pulled the crayon out of his nose because he wanted to be dumb again, which is my favorite Simpsons episode ever.

That’s way better put than I had it. When he does the George Carlin at the NSA interview like they wouldn’t have tapped a button to make them disappear the second his tone changed. He’s allowed to go off on his speech that wasn’t even his.

That’s brilliant because you press a button, and the floor opens up in his chair and disappears to the floor like, “I got him.”

The guy in the bar is so waspy. It’s offensive to me as a White person. I still had to go back to that.

Who’s the guy in the bar?

The ponytail guy, the douchebag. Going back to that, you watch that, and you’re like, “Yeah.” Every smart person in the movie doesn’t have to be the biggest douchebag, while every good-hearted person is somebody who beats up people for being smarter than they are. From 1 to 10, I would give it a 4.

Good Will Hunting has done less to benefit visiting Boston than Schindler’s List has for Poland. Let’s start with a bang. Who wants to visit that town after watching that movie? No one.

At least The Holocaust had a plot.

I’ve done four years of college. Kevin was in law. He’s done longer. I did four years in Boston, and not once did anyone ever give a professor a standing ovation. That doesn’t happen. That’s a lot of crap, my fellows. Are you surprised to know that? There’s a lot of dumb crap I’ve hitchhiked from Sussex County to Passaic County.

I pledge in Hayes and others in a fraternity I can’t even speak about, but never have I ever done something so stupid as to stand and pitch in the middle of a batting cage that is omnidirectional. That is a license for a concussion, broken jaw, and massive memory loss. These clowns are playing tickle fights in the middle of the batting cage in Boston. That doesn’t happen. Professor Lambeau is immediately asking that lady student out for a drink. Since you know this is a Miramax film, Harvey Weinstein yelled up, “Yeah,” in the middle of the screening room.

He’s sitting there next to a plant.

I was going to write blame because it’s too easy.

He’s like, “That character needs to hit on some young girls.”

GSC 58 | Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting: Whoever decided to make newspaper boy hats a thing clearly hates fashion or success in life.

Is there any part of this where we could make a man in a powerful position where having sex with a young girl seem authentically good? Is there a way we could put that?

It’s just to say he was molested, and his dad beat him with a wrench. That’s the hook.

Do you mean all the Math wizards are in that?

All the smart kids in this town. The Boston accent in this film is on a Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds, and Sammy Sosa level of steroids. This accent is worse than people who travel over others for a $400 TV at a 6:00 AM Black Friday sale. What’s worse, this or a Philly accent? That’s 6.5 done for me. Here’s a real quick sidebar. In one of our reviews on iTunes, the guy gave us four stars.

He said, “I love this show. It’s great, but I had to knock off one for all your Philly hatred. I get it. You’re not going to stop, but go home and have some water.” That was hilarious. The ginger of the gang, Morgan. He throws a right-hand punch like Jim Abbott did, who was born with no right hand. Google that, non-sports fans. My question is, how many times did Dave Landau discuss 18th-century economics in bars on 8 mile road?

All the time.

Everybody does. The best part is when you can take someone down with your knowledge.

I thought this film could be written for a remake until I saw Matt Damon punch the cop, the cop hits him on the ground, and then he gets a knee on his neck and said, “They’re not remaking this one now.” Did the professor bail him out? I’ve never let someone who I let tussle my hair unless he dropped the 10% they get me out of jail.

That’s valid. I’m not going to argue with any of this.

Landau, how many times you’ve been to jail, and for what?

Thirteen times for drinking, driving, alcohol-related incidents, and drugs. It was pretty cool.

Israel, are you?

Twice.

Me, zero. I run too fast.

Good for you. I don’t run at all.

They see that blonde hair and those blue eyes, and they go, “He’ll learn a lesson.”

He just puts on fake eyelashes and say like, “Who? Me?”

It is like Bugs Bunny’s when he dressed in drag.

Also, cops are getting all hard, like Elmer Fudd.

I have a buddy as a cop. He gave me the family gold card. That’s got me out of a lot of situations.

I got a face that says, “Do you know who my dad is?”

“Do you know Greg, who’s retired since 2003?” “No.” “It’s not because of financial, but because of medical. Thank you.” Who the heck are these guys wrestling on a trampoline at a kid’s birthday party as a father and has zero tolerance for dudes at parties without kids? I would have had a problem with that. Why not just lock lips in an alleyway or men’s bathroom like most closeted guys do?

I also feel Epstein threw that into Weinstein at a party where he’s like, “Do you know what this needs? Kid’s park.” You can shoehorn that in kids jumping on trampolines. Have you seen The Man Show, but with kids?

That was a heck of a first session that Matt Damon had with Robin Williams. Do you get your copay back if the shrink puts his hands around your throat? If so, there are a ton of comics that need to go to therapy, which truly need choking and convincing that they should quit. Nothing screams guaranteed sex, like taking a girl on her first date to the dollar store to try on goofy glasses. What’s his second date? Dinner-free samples at Costco?

“We better get in that photo booth because we’re in love and such.”

Date number three. Holding her hand at the abortion clinic after he made her stand in front of a pitching machine at a batting cage.

On the following day, her getting her ovaries scooped out from genital warts.

Even though we know this story is crap, imagine growing up with eleven siblings. That must have been worse than traveling in steerage on the Titanic. Whoever decided to make newspaper boy hats a thing clearly hates fashion or success in life and needs a cattle prod in a taint. Who wears those? I hate people who wear them.

A lot of people from Newsies had a lot of leftover wardrobes, and we’re like, “Is there a way we can use these scarfs and hats?” They were like, “I got a piece of crap Gus Van Sant is making.”

Wearing a newsboy hat in Boston just to advertise to everybody, I have an alcohol problem.

Who was wearing the newsboy hat?

Look at everyone in the bar scene in Boston. All the extra people had their hats on. Robin Williams wears that hat too.

If it’s Whitey Bulger, you’re not going to care.

Watching this in HD, I’ve noticed Matt Damon has an inordinate amount of freckles.

I didn’t really look. That’s probably true. Let’s go to Wendy’s bag.

Would you believe Matt Damon stole my haircut from 1996 to 1999?

Me too.

Everybody had that split-down-the-middle hairstyle.

Wouldn’t most people in Will’s income bracket be the first to grab that lottery ticket and not dump her? I dated a girl longer than I should have because I got $1,000 worth of crap in Christmas in 1999 and 2000 as well as got 4 to 6 trips free to the Caribbean. Dad was like, “Get out of here.” The best part of my day speech by Affleck got me thinking. The best part of Ben Affleck’s day should be going through his spank bank and remembering what it was like screwing an early 2000s J Lo while beating off in the shower or chopping his kids off at Jennifer Garner for the week because of divorce.

He’s got to love that where he’s like, “Go into the woman’s house who does mascara commercials.”

There’s a picture of Ben Affleck on a boat with Jennifer Lopez. He’s got his hand on her ass. I would have that blown up in every room of my hands.

That would be my cell phone wallpaper even though I would be married to Jennifer Garner.

I would have an oil painting on top of all the other actual photos. That’s right above the oil I got from the kitchen.

Someone asked him, “What was it like dating J Lo? How was her ass?” He’s like, “It was great.”

I would also ask that question. It was amazing.

Imagine if any of us got into press and got, “Ben, tell me about your latest film. Tell me about J Lo’s ass and how you wore it as a hat every single night for six months?”

Idiots don't know they're idiots. They just react violently because they're idiots. Click To Tweet

“Does it smell like cinnamon? It looks like it smells like cinnamon.”

“Did you wear it like a newsboy hat like everybody else did in Good Will Hunting?”

“Was all food and disappointment after that? Was it so good that you had to tolerate J Lo?”

If she can get guys to drop murder charges, that ass must sing a song from the sirens.

She gets tired of you demanding to eat dinner out of it every night.

“Your sport from Taco Bell keeps poking me in my tape. Stop it. Be careful.” We don’t want sushi. The chopsticks hurt.

It’s burning her ass with pizza grease.

It’s like a wasabi piece in her butthole and shooting to his mouth. We can be there for 25 minutes.

He only plays ping pong with a paddle for him.

Did he pour a gallon of bleach on that after she did it with Puff Daddy? “I got to get all that off, the stench of murder raps and the song from Godzilla, ‘Go away.’“

You ruined Led Zeppelin for me.

He ruined Led Zeppelin for you. It wasn’t Matt Damon’s filming this fault, but it sure is your fault for We Bought a Zoo. I loved this film when I saw it. Does it pass the remote test? A few scenes. Do I enjoy it? I do, but Dave Landau has done something that very few people are able to do. That is getting me to drop my score. I will now drop it to a seven. I had it at 7.5. There are too many good points, plots, and issues. You got more granular than I did, which is why you’re great at this.

I enjoy this film a lot. I still do. I get it. I see all your points. I acquiesced to them all as sustained. I still like it. It still resonates. It was funny. My wife walked in at the very end and goes, “This score is so annoying.” I started laughing when you said the Danny Elfman score. I’m like, “What’s next? Is Pee-Wee Herman going to come out of his bike?”

That’s a great film. I showed my son that. He’s into Pee-Wee’s Playhouse and stuff, which is cool to have a kid who likes that stuff that I’ll watch too. Large Marge still scares the crap out of him.

As I said, I get this movie a 7 out of 10. Landau got me to drop my score by half a point. I still enjoy it. It’s good. It does not pass remote tests. Kevin Israel, the floor is yours.

You guys did not leave much any meat on this bone, which is all right for me. I am ambivalent about this movie. Going through the movie, first of all, there is an Irish curse, just like there’s a Jewish curse. The Irish curse is a little bit smaller. The professor hitting on a student is incredibly cheesy and creepy. I feel that every year that passes, it gets a little bit creepier, but it was okay in the early or late 90s. That’s okay.

F*** was a word meant for the Boston accent. They decided to put it in every single sentence constantly. Speaking of f***, why would Matt Damon yell, “Go f*** yourself,” to the professor who’s asking him? He would have walked away. Why did he have to turn around and be like, “F***,” and then he said it again? He could walk away. There was no reason, purely to Landau’s point, to establish that he was a bad kid and looked like such a nice kid. They’re like, “How are we going to make the point that he’s bad until everyone’s to go screw themselves?”

They have to say the F word, which is so overused in this movie that it will have no effect by the time he says it.

They went to a bar in Harvard that sounded like a bar that they’d never gone to before, yet they knew the doorman, whose name was Casey. I feel like every doorman in Boston’s name is Casey or Sally. This isn’t as much about this movie, just in movies in general. It drives me nuts in movies. I understand that you can’t say brands of beer, but when you walk up to a bar and like, “Give me a beer,” and they give it to you, could you imagine walking into a real bar and say, “Give me a beer?” They will probably throw a can at your hand.

I used to work at Chili’s back in the day. My buddy, who reads every blog, Terry Loda, had the best line ever for when people would say, “Give me a beer.” He’d say, “What flavor?”

In fairness, in Good Will Hunting, he said, “Give me the best lager you have.” I would have been like, “Just say what beer you want.” For movies, they should make up a universal brand of beer that doesn’t exist, so they can say that in every movie.

Simpsons did it. It’s called Duff.

It could be Duff. Make Duff the international beer of movies.

It’s Boston. It should have been like, “Give me a Patch Adams.”

“Give me two shots. Give me two nooses around the neck.” Afternoon Delight was sung much better in Anchorman. I remember when I saw this movie in the theater. Robin Williams came out, and I was like, “Look at that beard. He looks so old.” Now I have that beard. The professor rocks around the campus with his TA, like that TA is Bib Fortuna. He’s using a Jedi mind trick on you.

When Matt Damon was trying to out the one psychologist and he goes, “It’s okay. You putt from the rough.” Was that a term for being a gang?

I guess, “I didn’t even connect.” That’s what he meant. I ignored it.

He said, “You were trying to give me the jump. I don’t care if you putt from the rough.” I haven’t got a chance to Google it to see if anybody else, other than in this movie, ever said putting from the rough. It made me think of Caddyshack, where he goes, “Do you know what he got thrown out for? Putting at night with the dean’s daughter.”

I get hard when you quote Caddyshack.

It also makes me think of Good Morning, Vietnam again, with men in comfortable shoes. Robin Williams has used more terms to describe a homosexual in a weird way than anyone in the history of film and television.

Speaking of Williams. At one point, he said something about his hair. He goes, “I haven’t got much hair left.” You do, Robin. You had a full head of hair. I don’t know what the heck you were talking about. Was that line written by somebody else and didn’t take it out? Not only did he have a full head of hair. He had hair, a beard, and a full-body coat that he wears all the time.

You could comb your wrists.

At least he had Willis from different strokes under his shirt trying to pop out.

I hate to repeat a point, but I made this a specific point of mine. Robin Williams doesn’t match 285. If he does, I want to know, was that for reps or a max? Was that a competition lift with a suit or raw? I need more information, Robbin.

The fact that he just believed you make me feel like he’s not a Math wiz.

Watching somebody wait outside a dorm for the door to open and sneak in gave me some hard nostalgia. I almost started to cry. I remember those days when all I knew was a girl’s first name and which building she lived in. I was willing to walk up and down the hallway just to try to get laid.

In fairness, I sold dime bags at a community college for a year.

You were an entrepreneur. There’s nothing wrong with it.

They didn’t have dorms in community colleges. Nice try.

They did in Michigan state where I am. I was at LCC in an apartment.

When telling a story about how drunk you or somebody else was, you have to emphasize it with three different explanatories as to how drunk you were. It was hammered, bombed, direct out of his gourd. You can’t do it. If you’re drunk, it needs three different explanations. “The lottery ticket for $12 million, I’ll cover your sex change operation.” You couldn’t say that anymore like I couldn’t say an Indian, “That, not feather.”

Even then, that was a hack line.

With all of that said, you guys did a masterful job finding everything wrong with this movie. Good on you, Dave, for what you did. This movie, as Kevin said, has a couple of good scenes, and that’s what it is. It’s a couple of good scenes strung together with a strangely loose plot that never makes a lot of sense to me. Here’s one more overarching point. How did nobody ever realize in twenty years that this kid was a genius? He went to school. They said he was in a bunch of different foster homes.

Nobody was ever like, “He’s six and doing long division. Maybe we should talk to somebody about him.” It wasn’t just smart. How many Skarsgård are there? Why do they keep showing? I never know which one’s which. They all look the same, and they’re all different agents. Even said, he’s like this other guy who was an Indian living in the desert and was mailing the theorems back to Britain or whatever. If he were that smart, somebody would have realized. This didn’t happen upon this. This kid is one in a billion, and they would have known.

The whole movie is so complex. It has a bunch of compilation of scenes that are strung together with this weird plot about the smart kid and this sappy love story. Matt Damon and Minnie Driver, even though they ended up dating, may have no chemistry in this movie. I bought into her being into him. I never bought into him being into her. I’d always felt very one-sided. I remember seeing this in the movie theater. When they broke up, I was like, “He’s not going to go back to her. This is going to go bad.”

I thought the movie was going to go bad. That’s why when you said there was an idea of him dying, I thought that would have been a much more fitting ending for the way this movie was going rather than him being like, “I’m going to see a girl.” That was all too perfect, and it tied itself up cleanly. I hoped his car did break down in Detroit or something.

GSC 58 | Good Will Hunting
Good Will Hunting: When telling a story about how drunk you or somebody else was, you have to emphasize it with three different explanations as to how drunk you were.

I guess I’m going to be a janitor at the University of Michigan now. In this movie, there are a few scenes that I would sit down and watch because they’re iconic scenes, but I haven’t seen this movie in a decade at least. I will probably not be going to see it for another decade. I’m completely ambivalent about it. I don’t think it deserves all the kudos it got. There were some great performances. I thought Robin Williams was great in it.

He’s always pretty good.

Did you see What Dreams May Come?

I love that movie.

Many years ago, I saw it. It came out in ‘99 or 2000. I don’t remember much of it. I remember oil painting.

That’s it. The half-hour, him and Cuba Gooding Jr. tried to get in and out.

No dogs.

How about a Bicentennial Man from Robin Williams that gets no love?

I retract my statements.

He’s good at a lot of stuff.

I like Bicentennial Man too.

I give his movie 5.5.

I thought you were going to dig it.

For me, it’s fine. There are some great scenes. It drags. At the hour and a half mark, I was like, “This movie could end now. Wrap it up.” When I saw the 30 more minutes, I was like, “What are they going to do for another 30 minutes? He broke up with her. Go fix it.”

You had to have some closure because, for example, you had to see Casey Affleck beam with excitement as he finally got to sit in the front seat of the car.

That was great.

That made it all okay for me. I forgot about that. Now I hate it even more.

He says that it’s such a basic crap. That’s the prize at the end of the rainbow for him.

It’s not a labradoodle. That’s a human being with no depth and character.

It’s barely a human being, but they speak mostly monosyllabically, to put it succinctly. Here are Critics’ Five-Star Reviews, “What Matt Damon and Ben Affleck accomplished with such a profound, witty, inspirational, and heartbreaking script is quite extraordinary. Mr. Robin Williams takes it to another level. On the surface, there doesn’t seem to be too much going on, but dig a little deeper, and you’ll find remarkably telling insights into the mind games that go with being a genius. The next best thing about Good Will Hunting is not its well-crafted psychological symmetries, but just in the plain messiness of its humanity. It’s rowdy. It’s funny. It’s heartbreaking. It wrings of life.”

The guy who wrote it is trying to write it from the point of view that he’s a genius. That’s how you want to be a genius.

If I learned the fight song to MIT, maybe I.

Maybe if I can have a button fly jeans fight in a park.

This was my favorite one in this batch, “Damon is not crazy talented like Vincent Gallo, but he’s still more than a pretty face.” Does Buffalo 66 do this guy to watch that film?

Whenever I watch The Brown Bunny, I think about what a genius Vincent Gallo is.

“It’s a towering performance by Matt Damon as a troubled working-class who needs to address his creative genius. It elevates his drama way above its therapeutic approach, resulting in a zeitgeist film that may touch a chord with young viewers the way the graduate did.” That’s Kevin’s trigger word, zeitgeist.

Here are Critics’ One-Star Reviews, “Not a work of art or great power, but it has some moving moments.” “All told, this film has plenty of enjoyable moments, but it’s just not the deep experience that filmmakers want you to believe it is.” Those are the only two rotten reviews on Rotten Tomatoes one-star. I then find two more, “Then sense direction is surprisingly static and conventional, which doesn’t help this earnest underwhelming misfire.” “Heart’s sinking, we are obliged to endure much pseudo serious gabble as we head toward another painfully predictable triumph of the human spirit. There must be some better way of our Hunting and our Oscars Good Will.”

Screw him. I liked the movie now.

That would be a Bruce Willis to the camera. He goes, “Do you know what time it is to do? It’s time to Die Hard.”

Have you seen him in the battery commercials?

They must have thrown him $25 million to get out of his house with Demi Moore in Montana to come to do that commercial. Here are Amazon’s Five-Star Reviews, “If you’ve got a potential genius in your midst that you may care about, they may enjoy this. Here are a couple of caveats. There are a ton of F-bombs. I remember an interview with Matt Damon once where he talked about the studio, asking if they could make it PG 13 instead. He then asked, ‘How many f*** can we have? How many does the movie have?’ They said, ‘Over 200.’ He shrugged and was like, ‘We didn’t even realize it. That’s just the way we talked in Boston.’ If you care about this thing, maybe we should try something like VidAngel.”

I don’t know what that is. It sounds like a porn site.

That’s what I thought it was too. Here’s the second part, “No genius in history has ever been this talented. Let’s not kid ourselves, but there are aspects of Will that resonate with many geniuses.” Signed by someone who thinks Reader’s Digest is highfalutin. The next one, “I saw this movie during its original release in theaters, back when you had to ‘seek out’ (and maybe drive an hour) to see it at a small, independent movie theater with minimal frills. I miss those days. I loved it back then and still do. I saw it twice in the theater. The second time counting how many times they said an F word, I counted 144, but I’m curious about the actual number. Robin Williams was awesome. You know he’s going to be serious and kick-butt if he’s got a beard.” What autistic open-mind comic wrote this? This was a wide release. He didn’t have to go to a theater like Hampstead in Philadelphia.

You went back and counted the f***? How OCD are you? It’s like, “I checked the stove 14 times, and there are 322 fingers in the whole movie.”

This is a dopey Rain Man where he tries to count the toothpicks on the floor, but instead, “Let’s count the number of f***.” “This holds up well, except for the smoking. It was funny to see Brad looking so young, but he pulls it off clearly as a brilliant and mentally stunted kid. I wonder at the end if he’d make it to Stanford and that old beat-up banger because it’s a long drive.” The next movie review from this guy, “Fight Club, starring Matt Damon.”

“I saw this movie when it first came out in 1997. I only remember being offended by the use of the F word throughout the entire movie. That distracted me to the point that I missed the point of the movie. I won’t describe the movie as that. It is provided in the synopsis. Now, it’s about years later. I’m desensitized to the F word. I just watched this movie again. It’s an effing great movie.” Here’s Kevin Israel in Amazon’s One-Star Reviews.

“I’m not sure what happened here, but the movie arrived in a Good Will Hunting case. The disc said Good Will Hunting. When we tried to play it, it was Kill Bill, which is not a movie I’ve approved for my son to watch. Let me get this straight. Uma Thurman opening up Japanese fighters like it was an internment camp in California in 1943 is okay, but hearing a bunch of Boston kids say the word f*** is not.”

You’re rating a movie on the fact that somebody sent you a different movie. I’ve seen that happen. That’s so crazy. I didn’t enjoy Spaceballs because it was Uncle Buck.

Uncle Buck is way better than Spaceballs.

I agree. It’s one of my favorite movies ever, but my kid does love Spaceballs because he’s five, and it is that level of humor.

Thank you, Kevin Israel. The film stinks.

I’m going to both of you on that. It’s for kids, but I like it.

By the way, there must have been a problem at the pressing plant because there were at least 10 to 15 reviews of people complaining of the same thing, Kill Bill and Good Will Hunting cases, which is funny because Kill Bill did not come after ‘03 or ‘04?

‘03.

“It’s such a shame. Movies used to be good until Hollywood became evil. Impossible to watch because every other word is an F-word. I turned it off after five minutes.” That didn’t happen.

How many Amish people have access to the internet?

I refuse to think you pulled the chutes after five minutes. Besides, it’s three and a half with the credits with that tweaky Barnes & Noble music playing in the background. That’s a lie. “Unlike most reviewers, this movie did nothing for me. It could not hold my attention, even I had intentions of liking it, but it did not.” “One of the worst Robin William movies I have seen. I’m going against the crowd here. I’m not sure why everyone thinks this is such a great movie. Frankly, I thought it was terrible.”

“Good service from Amazon. Well-acted. Quite frankly, I would not recommend this movie because, even though it worked out good for some of the folks, most of the folks were seedy at best and cruel and undesirable, to say the least. If you like movies that show the worst of society, and like I said above, that it was well-acted, then you may like this one. I did not.” “The box and label on the DVD say Good Will Hunting. The DVD is Kill Bill. I bought it as a gift for my 75-year-old mother. She almost had a heart attach.” Do you need a heart attach? You know who needs a heart attach? It’s the guy who had his heart ripped up by Mola Ram in Temple of Doom. That’s where he needs a heart attached.

Kill Bill does start. It comes out the gate.

The part that throws them is when it says, Kill Bill.

It can’t be. I’m going to keep going.

This isn’t Kill Bill. What this really is is Milo and Otis. They’re joshing me down at the plant. That’s where I got this for a white elephant gift. Kevin Israel, did Dave Landau gut the sacred cow?

I got to tell you. I’m torn on this one. This might be one of the most difficult decisions you’ve thrust upon me. I love you, Dave. I don’t think you did it this time. This isn’t an autocracy. Gootee had some say too. It was close. This movie is a juggernaut. You made a lot of amazing points, but the cow is still standing. It’s wobbly. You screwed it up good, but I feel like that cow’s going to live to give milk.

You’re the Selina Kyle in this where Christopher Walken shoots her six times. You’re staggering toward it, but you can’t kill it. Dave, you did a heck of a job, but it’s not your fault. Dave Landau, where can we find you?

DaveLandau.com is where you can find all your Dave Landau needs as well as videos. You can get copies of Kill Bill disguised as Good Will Hunting on my website.

Kevin Israel?

It’s KevinIsrael.com. My album, The Struggle Israel, comes to a live show. We got Bill and Joanne in the Mornin! Show on Compound Media, doing Karate Kid. If you’re a Cobra Kai fan, this is a time you get to come out, see a movie, and watch a show. It’s going to be great. Don’t be scared. We’re going to be funny. Come on now. This has been a blast. This is easily going to be a top-three episode. I have no doubt in saying that. Kevin Gootee, Kevin Israel, and Dave Landau, you’re a juggernaut. We love you. You are awesome. We’ll see you next time. Everyone, take care.

 

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