Episode 120: Delvin Cox BLOWS UP Jaws Episode 120 GTSC Podcast

GSC 120 | Rating The Jaws

Another FIRST occurs during our podcast when Delvin Cox shows up for the 3rd time and decides to attack one of the biggest blockbusters of all time that can be argued as a perfect film, Jaws.  Go ahead, clutch your pearls and catch your breath. Can Delvin make the case this movie is overrated unlike Jaws 4? Or do @KevinGootee and @KevinIsrael_NJ think his argument was funnier than Deep Blue Sea.

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Delvin Cox BLOWS UP Jaws

“They deserve to die, and I hope they are gutted in hell.” I do say this quite often because I’m consistently shocked. I’m legitimately flabbergasted with our old pal, Delvin Cox. Do you remember him, Avatar, Fast and the Furious? He’s back, and he’s taken one of the films I thought that could never, ever be attempted to be a sale, and that is Jaws.

Before we get to it, make sure you guys check out AthleticGreens.com/GTSC. Buy a package. You are getting some free stuff anyway, and tell them you are with us. GuttingTheSacredCow.com every day with blog articles and go over there. It’s getting cold outside. It’s going to snow. Grab a hoodie, long sleeve shirt, or grab whatever and hang out with us. Even though we are not there with you, you’ll still be there in spirit and body. Without any further ado, here’s Delvin Cox going to try and do the impossible and try and take down Jaws.

“Mickey Mantle don’t care about you. Why should you care about him?” Kevin Israel, name that film.

No idea.

Our guest is now three times appearance, Delvin Cox. People love him. They love the Avatar episode. They love the Fast and the Furious. My buddy, Nick Carnival, loves that. His favorite episode is Fast and the Furious. Delvin, how about you, sir?

I have no idea.

When I tell you, you are both going to feel dumb, ready? A Bronx Tale.

I haven’t seen that movie in years.

I haven’t seen that since I was thirteen. It’s been long-time stuff.

It’s on Cable nonstop, and it’s going to pass the remote test.

It’s QVC, and I don’t watch that.

You watch the Movie Channel, and the film is on Movie Channel constantly. I don’t expect you to go on QVC unless you are high, trying to buy some massage chair that they used to sell in a Sharper Image.

That was the 1990s mall reference. Wait until you see me get a Waldenbooks reference in there. Kevin Gootee and Kevin Israel are back. You heard Delvin Cox and Kevin Israel. The Bulletproof films that we think are always going to stay that way keep on falling because Delvin, to his credit, I never have to try and help him find a film. It’s always one and done.

Everyone, he picks the first time always gets to go. That’s a keeper. Delvin has chosen the mega-blockbuster of blockbusters. That is Jaws. Remember Jaws 4 when the shark impales itself at the end, yells out, and the shark emits a blood-curdling scream? I didn’t know sharks had vocal cords.

Wasn’t this considered the first summer blockbuster?

It was. Let’s talk about that summer blockbuster. It had $9 million in 1975 and $472 million in 1975. Turn that to 2022 money. It’s a $45.2 million budget, $2.37 billion. That gave the End Game the old Cleveland steamer if I say so myself. Let’s go to the old IMDb scale. You know it. You love it even though other shows that were on the trike are stealing the segment from us. IMDb scale 1 through 10. Delvin Cox, what do you think Jaws scored on the IMDb?


Kevin Israel?


It’s 8 flat. It shocked me too.

We also have people who have sense out there. Thank you.

Jaws is an entertaining film and still holds up.

Kevin Israel, let’s see if you can redeem yourself. Let’s go Rotten Tomatoes 1 through 100 critic score. Let’s put it in the board.

It’s 94%.

Delvin Cox?

It’s 89%.

It’s 98%.

Clearly, they are all smoking crack if they think this is a 98%. No way.

Crack was not invented until the ’80s. You are off of that crack reference. The audience score, what did the audience give this fine film?

I’m going to have a little faith in the audience. I’m going to say 91%.

Kevin Israel?

It’s 86%.

It’s 90%. Delvin Cox won away. That supposes a showcase one right there. Our next section is quotes, and there are a lot of them. I’m going to give five. You all know me. This one is my favorite off-the-beaten-path quote, “A tiger shark.”

Here’s swimming with bow-legged women. Cage goes in the water, sharks in the water, our shark. Even Clerks copied this. This is a quote. It’s a line in their film Clerks, “Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies.” Kevin Israel, I love some meat on the bone.

Thank you for leaving the big one for me.

There are several big ones left.

You are going to need a bigger boat. I always thought was, “We’re going to need a bigger boat.”

Do you know why you thought that? It’s because Randal said that in Clerks and misquoted it.

That might be why. I have seen it a million times. They are all going to die. The way he laughs and says that was perfect.

I had the Farewell and Adieu. “What we are dealing with is a perfect engine, an eating machine.” That should have been the subtitle to this movie. That was it. You had everything else that I had.

DC, what about you? Any other quotes that were left off the screen?

GSC 120 | Rating The Jaws
Rating The Jaws: Based on this movie, there are only two ways you can die. Either the shark eats you whole or swings you around for 30 minutes until you die above water.


I didn’t want to pull any quotes. I knew you guys wanted to get all the good quotes, but I did find one that I wanted to use because this proves how stupid this movie is. This is a quote by Brody’s son, “I got bit by a vampire.” That’s exactly how you said it. I hate this crap.

Five fun facts. Roy Scheider overheard Spielberg explaining the script at a party, and Roy was interested and asked for the part on the spot. Spielberg immediately agreed as he loved Roy Scheider in The French Connection. Why don’t you guys give me a guest for Hooper? Three names, two of them, and one name very big in the ’70s. One name I had never heard of. One name, big, decently sized in the ’80s, and still a decent name now. Three names. One of them. Go.

I have no clue.

If it was the ’70s, I was going to say De Niro. Jon Voight and Timothy Bottoms? I have no idea who the heck that is unless he’s a completely different type of film genre. Next is Jeff Bridges.

I could see that.

This is too much, but Lee Marvin and Sterling Hayden were the first choices to play Quint. Robert Shaw was number three. Number three fun fact. The shark attacking the cage is a real shark they filmed doing so while off the coast of Australia. The shark got into the cage and began to thrash. They use a midget in the cage to try and get the sharks to come over. The sharks wouldn’t do something with the cage until he was out. Then the one shark got caught in the cage, and that’s where you see a thrashing.

Number four is the rental house where Robert Shaw, his wife, and his manservant stayed while the film was shooting. The house was shot at by a local because he thought the house was abandoned. He was arrested and released with a $25 ticket or something. Last, “You are going to need a bigger boat,” was completely ad-libbed by Roy Scheider.

I can tell. He said it several times.

You’ll make detective one of these days. Let’s go to the hotbed of hatred, as we like to call it, Ask a Gutter. Where do I start? Ken Bourne-Turner asked Delvin. If he had to go on a fishing trip where you had to hunt a shark, what equipment or people would he want to take with him?

Equipment or people? Nobody from this movie, for one thing. I would take you two because if I’m going to die, at least I will die laughing.

That’s fair, but I promise you too. You will die because the one thing I am afraid of is sharks. I go scuba diving in the Caribbean all the time. I’m like Michael J. Fox watching for sharks the entire time. If I’m in that water and there’s a shark nearby, we are going right back to land and calling SOS. I’m sure Kevin Israel, you probably have the same cut from the same cloth as that.

I have swam with sharks before. They don’t even bother me, but I’m not much of a fisherman.

I’m a drinker who is what half the other part is. The next question from Bango will go to our pal, Delvin Cox. Look at the balls on this guy. It’s one of the worst sequels of all time. That’s majorly too, Kevin Israel, if you missed that one.

I have never seen it.

Don’t bother. Bango says his question, “They say if you are attacked by a shark, punch that one in the nose or eye. Does Delvin think he would have the presence of mind to go Rocky Balboa on a shark? Is he going to mumble to it, or is he out of luck (insert joke about Black people swimming?)”

Based on this movie, there are only two ways you can die. Either the shark eats you whole or swings you around for 30 minutes until you die above water. If the first thing happens, I could punch the shark in the face. Second one, I’m screwed.

I love the anger already in Delvin’s voice.

I’m in a rage.

He’s yelling already. Brandon Oglesby @NewarkKnight says, “For a what shark movie do you think is a worse spiritual successor to Jaws? Sharknado is excluded.”

One of the problems with Jaws is it skates in line with realism and nonsense. The first killer scene is the perfect example of this.

That’s easy. It’s Deep Blue Sea.

I like Deep Blue Sea.

I do. That’s the closest thing to a spiritual successor, and it’s a lot more sillier than Jaws.

It takes you down a few notches when he talks about the recipe to the best omelet and the parrot talking crap to the shark, or when the shark jumps out of the water and eats Samuel L. Jackson while talking about committing cannibalism.

The only thing I know about Deep Blue Sea is LL Cool J was in that. At some point, he gives a speech about how he puts milk in his eggs when he makes an omelet. My buddy, who I lived with for a couple of years, whenever he made eggs, would talk like LL Cool J in that scene. That’s the only thing I know about that movie.

I thought you were going to crap on putting milk in eggs. My wife turned me on to that, and it’s delicious. It makes some fluffy. We also forgot about Deep Blue Sea. How could you both forget the scene that should be framed in the AFI Museum where Thomas Jane is swimming with the shark, and then does it go 180 over it while holding onto his fin and surfs the shark’s back?

You guys haven’t seen The Meg. I heard the book is good.

The book is amazing. The book is about what’s the biggest shark of all, the megalodon. The book is amazing. It’s called The Trench. The book is fantastic. The Meg had nothing to do.

I have the book on my list of books to read. Every time I get to it, I’m like, “I don’t know.”

They gave zero damn. They eat old ladies and kids. That thing eats everything. It’s a great read. What about The Shallows with Kate Hudson?

It’s not bad.

Josh234 says, “Purified dog crap.” Here’s the next one. “For Delvin,” by Taco Shirt Krillin, “Since Jaws loves land food, what’s your favorite seafood?”

I love seafood. I want to say shrimp.

Thank God you didn’t say scrimp or shrimps because you are playing right into stereotypes with that. Thank you for not doing that. Lord Snort says, “I’m on the same page for Delvin as guttings, but not this time. Jaws is an entertaining film and still holds up.” John D Jelly D has a great question. Here we go, “This is not the time or a place to perform some half-ass autopsy on a fish movie. Mayor Vaughn being my second favorite character in the film, does Delvin think he is truly a villain or a naive guy doing his best?”

The mayor is 1) An idiot. 2) A jerk because you see all these things going on, and he clearly knows, “These sharks are killing people up.” He’s like, “We got a budget. We got to keep rolling.” If one person dies, it doesn’t become a problem until everybody starts dying. He’s like, “Maybe we need to do something.” Even then, the people were like, “We need to open this beach back up.”

In the book, the mob forces the mayor to keep the town open. That’s a fun fact. The book is terrible. It is bad. I will get into that in my notes.

It’s like the movie.

Eric4953 says, “No, Delvin Cox. Don’t do it. You can’t take this movie down even with three barrels. Just because Delvin couldn’t go to the water for years doesn’t mean he can’t crap on Jaws. The USS Indianapolis scene alone leaves this movie untouchable.”

Absolutely not. There are several. We’ll get to it.

GSC 120 | Rating The Jaws
Rating The Jaws: Deep Blue Sea is the closest thing to a spiritual successor, and it’s a lot sillier than Jaws.


I know you will. I have complete faith in you. Kevin, why keep this man waiting? That’s all for the Ask a Gutter. Let’s let the man out of the cage. Let’s let Hooper out of the cage, and hopefully, he doesn’t get eaten as Delvin Cox tries to gut the sacred cow.

Delvin and I were tone for tone until the last half until it fell off the note. Always appreciate the sing-along with the paddle. Delvin, the floor is yours.

First thing, damn this movie.

You open every one of your guttings with, “Damn this movie.” I wanted to call that out too.

Let me start off like this. This is my fault, but I will blame it on this movie as well. When I picked this movie, I thought to myself, “I clearly have a DVD of this movie.” I didn’t have a DVD for this movie. I said, “Let me go to Best Buy because the DVD has to be $5.” There’s nothing at Best Buy. I ended up paying $15 to buy this movie again.

First of all, you could go to Amazon for $4 and never leave your house.

I didn’t think about that. I said, “I don’t rent movies for some reason.” I’m like, “If you are going to pay $5, I’m going to buy that crap.”

Can you imagine me paying $5 for Napoleon Dynamite or Christmas Story? No, thank you. Paying $4 was bad enough.

I will say this. You guys can probably use my account and watch half of those crappy movies because I own a lot of them. First and foremost, about this movie, I don’t want to beat for beat. One of my main issues with this movie is that besides the main characters and the characters you know and love, the actors in this film are terrible.

They’re bad, from Brody’s son, who acts like he has these issues or something like that. He clearly does it. Add the beach scene where usually when you have a movie, especially in the ’70s, when you have beach scenes, they had nothing but gorgeous, beautiful women and handsome men, not Jaws. They have some of the most repugnant fugliest, looking people I have ever seen in my life in any beach movie.

That’s because it’s in Massachusetts. That’s why.

If this is a snapshot of what Massachusetts is, I never want to go there.

You live in Miami, one of the hottest places for dudes and chicks anywhere. This is Boston. This is Martha’s Vineyard. The Jersey shore tramps this as look-wise. That’s a far cry.

I’m going to backtrack a little bit. There is a point in that first scene when at the beach, there’s an old guy who has C cups who’s talking to Vaughn. I’m like, “What’s going on? Why is he wearing a bra or something?” I felt so uncomfortable looking at him.

Did you think this was going to be like a Will Smith music video or something?

No, especially in the ’70s, when they show beach scenes, they have semi-attractive people. Not this movie. This movie was like, “We have got to get as realistic as possible and hire the ugliest people as background actors and actresses that we can find.” Let’s go back to the original part of the movie. The movie starts off when they have this little bonfire party and stuff like that. I’m like, “This is normal. This is a cool thing.”

It’s not normal if you live in Jersey because those are illegal. There are too many rules in this state.

That’s depressing. The hot girl tells the guy, “Let’s go skinny dipping and whatnot.” This goofy guy, he’s acting like he’s drunk, but I have never in my life seen anybody fall so much at so ridiculously as a drunk person in my life. “What is he doing? He’s not drunk. He’s insane.” He’s falling over. He can barely walk three steps and stuff like that like, “I’m coming.” What’s going on?

If I were following her and were that hammered, I would be laser-focused on making sure she leaves my sight because I’m going to try and hit that because she was a cutey.

People like Jaws because it’s a classic. It came on a long time ago, and people, for some reason, like old movies.

That’s what a normal person would do in a normal situation, but the jerk is falling all over the floor, can barely walk, and was like, “This is horrible.” She’s getting in the water, and she does some type of aerobic scene where she lifts her legs up like a ballerina dancer like, “Come and get me,” and then Jaws comes out of nowhere and grabs her.

This is the part where I’m like, “This is BS.” This is one of the problems I have with this movie. This movie skates in line with realism and nonsense. The first killer scene is the perfect example of this because she’s swimming, Jaws bites her, and then they spin her around like she’s in a Gravitron over the water before she dies.

I’m like, “That doesn’t happen. That’s not a shark’s work. Sharks are not going to drag you around the top of the water until you die. They are going to pull you out there and drown and kill you. This is utterly ridiculous.” This is one of the big problems of this movie. This movie is two hours slow. One hour is them figuring out, “We have a shark problem.” The second hour is the National Geographic fishing film.

We are not sitting on a boat talking about their feelings and crap. I’m like, “Here we go for this ride.” They find the next day that there’s a dead body on the beach. Brody talks to the guy because he’s the main character. He talks to the guy who claims to be with the girl last night, “I don’t know what happened. I didn’t see her go out in the water.” He doesn’t remember anything. He got shot by an FBI, got darted in his neck, and had no recollection of this girl even existed. I’m like, “How at all does it do that?” Not to that degree.

I don’t remember the better half of my two years of college. I will disagree. I was in a fraternity. That’s all I need to say.

You get to the scene and stuff like that. I haven’t even mentioned the part before that when they call Brody. He has one house phone. He answers. Nobody told me that he had another house phone next to him. It’s like the bat phone. Is he Batman or something like that? Who does that? Does police chiefs required to have two house phones like, “This is one for the chief, and this is one for the house?”

It was the same as an extension. Wasn’t it?

It was two different phones because he picked up the first one, and it had a dial tone on it. The second one he picked up, and people were talking. That alone, I was like, “What’s going on? Is he Batman?” There’s something going on. In the same scene, his family sucks. They are terrible people. They are worthless. They don’t add anything to the movie. They don’t make me feel sympathy for him. I feel sympathy for them, but that’s terrible acting, ugly people. It’s awful. Let’s get a little bit further to it. They get to the whole thing with the mayor and stuff like that. He said, “It’s a shark attack.” The mayor is like, “I don’t know about that, chief. It looks like it was a boating accident.”

Brody saw the body. He can clearly see it. It wasn’t a boating accident. In the corner, it’s like, “It’s a boating accident.” That part threw me all because, during this whole movie, Brody is supposed to be the voice of reason, the guy who has integrity, the guy who has the moral fiber of this whole town because the town is full of idiots.

They’re like, “We’ll say it as a boating accident because they didn’t want to shut down the town.” It’s like, “You are clearly full of crap. You know it wasn’t a boating accident.” When you get to the first scene, when they are on the beach, he’s steadily looking around for sharks because he knows this crap will go down.

He steadily looks around for sharks. Then he has all these ugly people walking up to ask him dumb questions. It’s so annoying that the first half of the movie is Brody trying to get people to understand how sharks work. Everybody’s like, “There was a shark attack? We got to open this beach up because we need the money.” Maybe they need money. With those ugly people, they need much help as they can get.

At some point, you have to say, “What’s more important? The safety of our people? Nevermind.” That’s pretty accurate, considering what they are going through the day. Let’s go back to this movie. I will say this. The second shark attack they showed was a lot better than the first one because it was straight up like, “The shark ate the person.” It was one full step of it, but at the same time, what’s to tell people who don’t know what’s going on? They are still like, “We got to open up this beach. This beach is bringing in millions of dollars,” but you know it’s not. It’s a crappy beach in a crappy town that it’s not bringing any money. This is the ’70s. You guys probably know. They probably cost $1 to get to the beach.

This beach is probably bringing maybe $1,000 or some crap like that, but these people are so set on opening this beach. They are like, “F these kids and this town. We have got to make the brand.” I’ve been watching this movie. We go through it like this. We get to see where they are trying to figure out, “We have a shark problem. How do we catch the shark?” Then we get to see where everybody’s arguing about catching the shark and things like that. I can’t remember the guy’s name. What is his name? The guy who’s the fisherman.


He puts his fingernails on the chalkboard and scratches. Who would hear that if everybody was yelling? That’s not how a chalkboard works. Never in my life if I have ever seen anybody go, “We better stop it.” Then he gives this whole speech about it. “I didn’t catch them. If I catch them, I cut them. It’s going to cost you $13,000.” If I was in that town, “Who are you? Why are we giving you $13,000 to catch a fish? You have not shown any credentials. You have not shown what you could do. You were telling us, ‘$13,000, and I’d catch this fish.’ You haven’t even seen the fish.'”

They know it’s him. They know who he is, so they know what he does. That’s what he said. “You all know me. You all know how and where I’m living.” They know who he is and what he does. He has a collection of boiled shark Jaws throughout his house. They know what he’s up to.

I know a lot of White people who have a lot of crap in their house that they claim they caught, but we know well they didn’t catch, like dear heads and alligator heads. You wouldn’t bust a grape for the fruit fight. Let’s stop it.

I’m pretty sure he admits he kills sharks and all that stuff. I see your point. He has built up that credit with us where it’s like, “This guy is a shark hunter. This is what he does.”

He was probably the crazy shark guy.

GSC 120 | Rating The Jaws
The Trench

Speaking of sharks, the picture of the shark eating the person on the chalkboard is downright hilarious. I saw that picture and laughed for probably about a good ten minutes of that picture.

The only thing missing was a big circle with a line through like, “No smoking.” It’s goofy like that. He kills shark.

Let me ask you this other question about this movie. What were they playing on the pier with the inner tubes? They had inner tubes out in the middle of the water. They had a rope with inner tubes. That’s when Jaws took out the pier, and he had to swim back to the pier. What was their game plan?

It was the same thing with those big barrels. They are hoping that he will catch it and then force the shark to the top of the water and die.

That was the stupidest plan I have ever seen in my life. They got this raggedy pier that tied this inner tube in a chain. They want to catch a shark. These are the people that we are putting our faith into. If I lived in this town and saw this crap going on, this town feels like South Park. There are no intelligent people in this town. Nobody has any personality that does crap to do crap.

They try to catch the shark and fail miserably. All of them should have died. I was cheering for the shark this whole film. F these people. They are awful and terrible. They suck. Let’s get back to the story. At this point, we have three occurrences of the shark attacking people. Do they think about closing the beach down? No. I don’t understand how this happened because these guys couldn’t catch crap. I think they bought that shark from Kmart. They bring back this tiger shark, “We caught Jaws. Everything’s better. Everything’s great. Now we can go back to the beach.”

I’m like, “That’s convenient.” It made no sense to me, “Let’s go back up. We are done.” You then have the actual guy who knows about sharks come into the picture. He’s like, “These markings don’t match up right.” He says in the first part of the movie, “How do you do the autopsy on the first body? That doesn’t look like a boating accident at all. This is clearly a shark bite.”

I’m like, “Thank you. Somebody in this movie is intelligent.” What did they do? “Shut up. We are not listening to you.” They then aid, “How do we celebrate catching this shark? Let’s have this party on the beach.” All these ugly ass people are all on this beach. Make no mistake. They are very ugly. I’m not getting over that part. They all dance around, looking like seafood for Jaws.

There’s another scene I can enjoy this movie a lot. You have to see where people are in the water and things like that. They are having a blast. All of a sudden, everybody sees a shark. All of the people are running out of water. All the men are in the process of throwing the kids who were in the water in danger. They are stood up like Michael Jordan, “F these kids.” They’re throwing up into the water. Fit for yourself, they all come out. They go to the shark to kill the shark, but it’s some teenagers dressed up like a shark, which is a very convincing shark fin. I don’t know how they made it or got it, but bravo. I’m like, “That was a pretty good scene.”

They should have left that scene like that, but no. They can’t leave well enough alone because directly after that, Jaws was in the corner, watching all the crap gone. He was like, “Let me see what these dumb White people are doing.” He’s watching all this stuff going on. As soon as they see stops, here comes Jaws with almost nobody’s in the water to get. There’s this one group of kids. Here comes Jaws when everybody’s out of the water. He comes and snatches this kid whole. I’m like, “That was impressive.” You would think this would be the moment this town would panic and say, “We got to close this beach. We got to shut crap down.”

Not these people. They are in the mayor’s office arguing about, “Why can’t we open the beach back up? Can’t we open the beach back up? I guess we will be closing the summer now? That’s it? One little kid died?” They are like, “F this kid.” The kid got swallowed whole in front of all these people on the beach. It wasn’t like the beach was empty. It was the whole town on the beach that saw this kid gets swallowed whole, and they’re like, “We had to open this beach back up.”

This comes to the second half of this movie because this movie is two hours long. This movie should have at least been at most an hour and 30 minutes. Too much fluff and days happened in this movie that doesn’t need to happen. We get to the output in a movie, and I’m like, “The town people being a jerk. We are clearly almost at the end of the movie.” I look at a timer, “No, we got an hour to go.”

The movie changes from a survival horror documentary of how stupid people are to National Geographics, where they are like, “Let’s get this raggedy boat and catch Jaws.” This is the problem I had with the second half of the movie. The first half is entertaining because of its utter ridiculousness of it. The second half of the movie is boring. It is mind-numbingly boring. They are sitting in the water for a whole hour, talking and telling stories to each other and setting up crap for the sharks.

There’s one point where the rope hits the guy in the back. That did nothing at all. Then he’s telling his horrible story about what happened during the war, “Everybody died.” I’m like, “I don’t give a damn. Get to the point. We are going to start killing this shark.” This is going on too long. This is an hour into the movie. They are still adding layers of plot that they could have added in the first hour of the movie. They are on the boat for an hour. They are way out in the middle of the ocean, with no chance of getting help. Jaws detected the ship.

The ship is getting destroyed. This ship clearly should be on the water. This happened because they set this plan up for the guy to go on the water with Jaws in this tank in this little cage. The plan doesn’t work. While underwater, they decide to hide from a shark, and it worked. They wouldn’t hear from the shark on the water.

When Jaws started attacking the ship, tearing up the ship, this ship should clearly be sinking by the damage the Jaws has been doing. They have this big battle. People die. The guy with the fisherman who kills all the fish dies brutally by Jaws. Then you have Brody fighting Jaws and stuff like that. It costs him the whole ship. The ship gets destroyed. Finally, he defeats Jaws with the depth charge. He blows Jaws. Heroes win. There’s no boat to get back to land. How do these guys get back to the land? We are going to stay on a raft and float back to shore.

It was wood from the ship.

That doesn’t happen. These people should be dead. This is also a factor in this. If they found a tiger shark in the water earlier and killed Jaws, wouldn’t there be other sharks in that water most likely? Is it only two sharks at all in this water? This movie is stupid. I understand back in the ’70s when they didn’t have crap to do, like watch TV and go outside and play while people were so enamored with this movie. In 2022 eyes, this movie is dumb as crap. It’s terrible acting and people. The logic is stoned completely out the window because if that’s a real town and it was a shark attack, which is also believed because of where it was at. There are no Black people, which is fine because I see where it’s at.

There are. I will get to it. You are wrong.

Some movies need to die and go away.

I want you to go since you have the DVD. I wrote this down. In minute 57, there’s a little kid running into the water right before you see the family. You are wrong.

You know that’s not true. Black kids are not going out in the water. There’s no way.

I wrote the time code down.

That’s how you know this is fiction.

They are in Martha’s Vineyard. There aren’t many Black people there, from what I understand.

This is my point. I can speak from this experience of a Black person.

I hope you can.

If you tell a Black person, “That water has sharks in it,” they are going to say, “We are not going to be at that water. We are going to do 1,001 things besides that.”

They are going to be in Point Pleasant on Saturday.

This movie is awful. I understand.

They are going to be in Atlantic City.

I don’t want to go too long because I have gone long enough. I understand why people liked this movie because it’s a classic. It came on a long time ago, and people, for some reason, like old movies, like Gone with the Wind and stuff like that. We have to get to some point in our life to say, “Let these movies die.” Jaws will be a horror film. It’s not a horror film. It’s not scary. Nothing about this movie scares me. All of the things about the movie that scared me were the stupidity of the people in this movie. Some movies need to die and go away. The Warriors is a fantastic movie.

That’s terrible. That doesn’t hold up at all.

We are not going there. I will fight you of The Warriors. No way I’m doing this.

It’s so lame. You were talking about a bunch of that don’t happen in that film.

I can’t believe you are going to say The Warriors outholds this.

It’s laughably awful how they can get from The Bronx. Were they going far Rockaway without getting jumped? That’s by the JFK Airport. You see three of them left and fought like stupid people.

Did you question whether The Avengers would take out Thanos?


GSC 120 | Rating The Jaws
Rating The Jaws: One of the main issues with this movie is that besides the main characters and the characters you know and love, the actors in this film are terrible.


Don’t question The Warriors getting what I need to get at, Kevin Gootee. How dare you?

Even Kitty Pryde could defeat The Warriors.

How dare you? Nobody can defeat Ajax.

We are off the rail.

Give me a number, Delvin. We got to move things along.


I expected a lot more than that. I thought a lot less than that.

I don’t want to kill people’s hopes and dreams. It’s five. Completely mediocre. Would I watch it again? No. I wish I could sell it, but it’s a digital copy, so I can’t sell it.

Where are you going to get the DVD for $15? You got your car and drove somewhere.

I did some in Best Buy. That’s how much I love you, Kevin Gootee and Kevin Israel.

I love you too, and the feeling is more than mutual, but you could have easily got the Amazon copy and sat on your butt at home and hadn’t cracked the cocktail instead of going out for us. That’s above and beyond. I don’t go to Best Buy because they are not the best buy and haven’t been for a long time.

Kevin, let’s talk more about our favorite sponsor, and that’s Athletic Greens. I have been on this stuff now for weeks. This stuff is great. I take it every morning. I know you take it too. Why do you like it best? How do you feel it’s been helping your daily routine and lifestyle?

I got to tell you. I kicked my morning off with it. I mixed it with a cold glass of water. It mixes up great. It tastes good, unlike so many other supplements out there. I do feel better. I used to drink coffee in the morning, and now when I have this, I feel like I get focused. A lot of my gut problems that I had seemed to have evened out, and I feel great. It has everything you need, especially for guys like us who are busy and not eating all the veggies we need.

You are 100% right because you are absorbing 75 high-quality vitamins, minerals, whole-food sourced superfoods, probiotics, and adaptogens to start your day right as you do. I’m very big now in gut health and the immune system and such. Drinking this help keeps the flu away. Keeping that immune system up is the key, and Athletic Greens is going to help contribute to that and better sleep quality and recovery. Sometimes I have a hard time sleeping.

Drinking this, I haven’t had sleep issues in a while. Don’t forget. This is a small micro habit with big benefits. It’s something you can do every day to help take care of yourself. As you said, Kevin, a lot of people take multivitamins, and it’s important to choose one with high-quality ingredients. This is a perfect choice. Delvin, how much do you think this fine product costs to take a day?

It’s $200.

It’s less than $3 a day. The story is this. Athletic Greens was founded when the big owner experienced tons of gut health issues, and he was on a $100 a day supplement routine. That’s nuts. Athletic Greens is recommended by professional athletes and has 7,000 5-star reviews. Here’s the best part. You can reclaim your health and your immune system. On top of it, you are going to get a one-year supply free of immune-supporting vitamin D and five travel packs with your first purchase. All you have to do is go to AthleticGreens.com/GTSC. Take ownership of your health and go to the daily nutritional insurance of Athletic Greens.

Can someone explain to me what a beach fire is? I grew up in Jersey, and fun is outlawed on the beach in Jersey. The 1970s, where side titty only gets you a PG rating. The guy and the girl going to and having sex in the ocean is so overrated, much like pool or spa sex. If Chrissie asked me to do it, I would be doing it, and we would both be shark crap for doing so. Me thinking Chrissie getting dragged would happen a lot faster in real life than the same speed as Honey Boo Boo’s mom could run as happened in the film.

People remember characters, same with television or movies. Who remembers the Lone Ranger? Everybody. Who remembers any actual Lone Ranger storylines? Nobody.

Two minutes into this film, I wrote down a reminder of how awful Boston accents are. Thanks, Steven Spielberg. One of the very few times the movie blows away the book. In the book, Hooper bangs Brody’s wife. Hooper dies in the shark cage. Quint uses illegally unborn dolphins as chum. Quint dies not by getting eaten by a shark. He’s dragged underwater by a harpoon rope that ties up his foot. The shark dies from harpoon wounds from Brody before he gets to eat Brody. That sounds like a lot of good choices made by Spielberg. “How did Chrissie’s body wash up on a shore and then have that much dirt accumulated on top of her in such a short period of time?”


I get it. If you are decomposing, there’s going to be that decomposing smell in the water in the air. I get the crabs, but sand? It’s like she was an archeological expedition they unearthed. “That mayor has the sweetest jacket in the history of jackets.” If that jacket could talk, it would demand another eight balls of Coke prontissimo.

That jacket matched the cat from your favorite movie, Caddyshack.

It sure did. If I can get both of those and go to my bachelor party or my buddy’s party, I will be the king crap.

“Dogs on a beach. Where is this magical Nirvana?”


The first-person POV genius way to shoot this was awesome because the shark kept drowning during filming. This is the best audible I can think of in film ministry. “The Kintner boy died a quicker death than Delvin Cox after our fans mercilessly bullied him to live in a shack in Wyoming when we were done.”

“When the two old guys use the roast as bait, and one of the guys falls in and then gets chased, why is he swimming slower than Jim Abbott would against the current?” Jim Abbott is a one-handed pitcher. If you didn’t know that, go to Google. That guy is taking his time with a shark chasing. What is he doing? The backstroke?

“Catching a shark sounds exhilarating, and I will be excitedly celebrating on land. No way am I going near a shark unless it’s in a nuclear sub. Did the shark eat all of the minorities on the island in the director’s cut?” I knew that would get you because I haven’t seen anyone who may get the side-eye for being on Amity Island yet.

“When Mrs. Kintner slapped Chief Brody, he should have told her to save a slap for mayor anchor jacket over there because he’s a reason the shark ate her kid. Hooper is wearing only jeans and sneakers while cutting open a shark’s belly. It was acid-washed jeans that must be impervious against stomach acid from a shark.”

That doesn’t happen. You would not, where you are going closer.

“You would find me on all fours at a gay bathhouse before you find me swimming in waters where they had three shark attacks. You’ll find me at the beach, at the bar, in the arcade, anywhere but the goddamn water.” I like when Quint says, “Get your name in the National Geographic, Hooper.” That sounds like old people say Facebook or the internet. You know my role, Kevin, an arcade in a film, one bonus point. The ’70s arcade must have been cool or awful because games still work. They didn’t hit that in the early-’80s.

What was the game? Shark Hunters or something?

Exactly right. Very good eye. “Amity looks like an amazing place to visit. No Guidos, no boomboxes blasting out reggaeton music, and I can’t think of anything else to finish up the rule of three here.” Sorry, folks. Stay tuned. First Black person spotted minute 57, “Brody’s deputy looks like Lieutenant Proctor from Police Academy. The only thing missing is an overbearing Chicago accent, Captain Harris, and the copious inadvertent adventures to the Blue Oyster Bar.”

I love Police Academy.

Who doesn’t? The fourth one is the best one. “When the kids did that fake shark fin bit, if they did a reboot of Jaws, you know damn good and well that they would have either Johnny Knoxville or the impractical jokers underneath that fin in this film.”

That’s a good point.

Thank you. “If anyone is about to be eaten by a shark, I’m glad it was the guy who sounded like he was from Dorchester.” That accent went right through me like crap through a goose. “The first half of this film is great. The second half of this film is on steroids is when Quint is a full-time character.” We are moving on, “Why is it women in the ’70s always wore bandanas in their hair like the Rosie the Riveter?”

GSC 120 | Rating The Jaws
Rating The Jaws: The first half of the movie is entertaining because of its utter ridiculousness. The second half is mind-numbingly boring.


The comparison of scars while on the boat in Jaws is inspired by the comparison of scars in Lethal Weapon 3. That film stinks. Try watching 3 and 4. They are bad. 1 and 2 are great. 3 and 4 dog crap. The Indianapolis monologue is easily top ten all-time film history monologues, easily. Quint was bashing the CD radio in a fit of rage. That doesn’t happen, although all you literary nerds went on to call it an allegory where Captain Ahab is on the hunt for his white whale. That’s skin-deep at best.

For Moby Dick, that’s the theme of my notes. There goes that.

“Three scenes always I can think of that will stand out.” Hooper being attacked in the cage, the Indianapolis monologue, and Quint being eaten alive scarred me for life when I saw that as a kid. The screaming and the blood squirting from his mouth always will stay with me. It’s like the gimp scene in Pulp Fiction. Male rape or shark eating are both equally awful. Can you fear more if I’m on land male raped? Do you know what’s bad? A male rape at sea because it’s a 50/50 proposition from there.

If I’m on land, I fear sharks more because if the shark manages to attack me on land, that was a shark.

At the rate Brody is sinking, he would be unable to get off that final shot. That boat is sinking way too fast while he’s on the crow’s nest or whatever that is to get that. Delvin touched on this. With all that blood in the water at the very end, Hooper and Brody should probably start swimming faster and stop gazing lovingly into each other’s eyes and blowing butterfly kisses at each other.

Did you see the seagulls coming? When seagulls come, what’s the next thing? Sharks. I have watched every Shark Week episode there is to watch. “This movie has to be passed to be the most realized motion picture and a score of all time.” For Christ’s sake, two notes can be hummed, and everyone knows what you are talking about. “A film that single-handedly scared the crap out of people and kept them out of the ocean for a long time.”

This movie is the reason we have Shark Week, and because of Shark Week, we have delisted celebrities on Shark Week. Wait for the next season when Lark Voorhies, Jim J Bullock, and Dennis Rodman jump in the waters off the coast of Tierra del Fuego. “As always, John Williams is unstoppable. Some can argue that this is his masterpiece, and I shall not argue that point. Besides the obvious fake-looking shark, there is nothing in this film that shows its flaws many years later.”

“This plot is air-tight like a frog’s butthole. The editing should be taught in film classes as this film in screenwriting classes. This film was on our bulletproof list for a reason, but none were almost as shocking as this.” This film is perfect. This film can be argued. You make good points. I’m not going to disagree with those points. The silliness is like, “Shut the town.” I get that. I can argue this film as one of the best films ever made. This and Godfather 1. You can argue both those films are perfect, and Back to the Future Part 1.

If three, you lost your mind.

I prefer 2 over 1. I love 1 and 2, but I prefer 2 slightly. This Godfather and Back to the Future are perfect ten scores. It easily passes the remote test. Any single time my wife and I are flipping around as the remote gets dropped, this film does not miss ten. This is the second ten I have given on this show, Kevin Israel.

I’m not counting but probably.

Toy Story was the other one. I know that. I might’ve given another one out, but this is a ten. Delvin Cox, prepare to get dox by angry online trolls. Kevin Israel had at them.

One of my favorite authors was Lee Child, who created Jack Reacher. The character was poorly played by Tom Cruise. He published this quote. He said, “First character is King. There are probably fewer than six books and movies every century that is remembered specifically for their plots. People remember characters, same with television or movies. Who remembers the Lone Ranger? Everybody. Who remembers any actual Lone Ranger storylines? Nobody.”

This movie is a great example of a movie with an okay plot. It’s a shark attack movie with awesome characters that make the movie. Each of these characters has been recreated and attempted to be replicated through countless movies. First, you have Brody, titled as the reluctant cop who’s the voice of reason. He’s the eyes of the audience and sees the insanity that’s going on. He’s the one that keeps steady for the movie.

Hooper, the brains of the operation. He’s the one that explains everything, and he does it without a ton of exposition. He makes teaching about sharks interesting. In 1975, nobody knew crap all about sharks. That’s like Jesus said there was a Shark Week. Nobody knew about sharks. They were these scary things that ate things and people in the water. That’s all anybody knew.

Hooper manages to make sharks accessible and make them even scarier. He’s a likable funny little character. Next is Quint, the old haggard war dog we have seen countless times since then. That scene where he runs his fingernails down the chalkboard, and everybody cringes was such a masterful scene. You have all these townspeople afraid, freaking out and everything, and he’s like, “I will get your fish. I will do it. You got to pay me $13,000.”

He’s such a great character, and he does have an absolute Captain Ahab correlation. It’s funny. I don’t recall the scene as clearly when he bashed the radio when that happened because I haven’t watched Jaws in a while. I was like, “He is completely crazy. He’s so obsessed with killing the shark. He does this, or they all die.”

There’s not a single movie that’s ever had an impact on the general public like Jaws did. It literally shut down the beach industry for an entire summer.

That’s an important moment in the movie. It’s easy to say, “There’s a shark attack in the boat, whatever,” but no, this guy’s obsessed. He says in the meeting, “You all know what I do for a living.” He kills sharks for a living. That’s all he does. He’s got a house full of dead sharks, hung up all over the place. It’s all because of those shark attacks from World War II. He’s so obsessed with sharks because they killed all his friends. It’s so subtly done throughout the movie.

He has gone from Cleveland bitten in half. All of that could completely pass you by because it’s thrown at you. This movie is so economical with its information and the way it introduces characters and gives you information. You don’t even realize that it’s teaching you and what you are learning because everything happened so fast. I got to disagree, Delvin. This movie is two hours, and it’s two hours that fly by because everything happens so quickly, and each scene is important and meaningful.

There are tons of ridiculousness. The girl gets bitten by a shark. She already had her leg bitten off, and she’s looking around, confused. Maybe it’s a shock. A shark doesn’t pull you around. It’s not an alligator. It would have sunk her down and eaten her. That was all a little bit of nonsense. There are tons of stuff that happened in this movie that is fed into the ridiculousness.

The mayor is such a great character because he’s a piece of crap. All he cares about is getting reelected. That’s his whole thing. He wants the town to make money, so everybody’s happy, and he gets reelected. It’s funny, and we try not to get political on this, but there is a weird correlation that you can draw to COVID, and you see it happening.

The shark is COVID, and the mayor is all the politicians trying to do the right thing, and then it’s like, “Who does he care about?” It’s funny how relevant a movie like that can be so many years later. It’s amazing. As far as the characters go, the weakest character in this movie is Brody. It’s something that I didn’t remember or realize. My problem with it is he’s supposed to be a cop from New York who came to this town looking for an easier life, and he has no sign that he’s a cop from New York. I’m not saying he had to be a character, but he doesn’t have the accent and attitude. You don’t get the feeling that he’s like, “I have seen murders and crap, then you guys have it easy.”

There’s one scene he does say it. He was drinking, and he was like, “The crap you see in the city,” and he went for a little. If you would have a Yankee hat, I go, “I got you.”

It’s something a little more to say, “I get it.” He’s a New York guy in this situation. You can almost picture Bruce Willis from Die Hard as the cop in Jaws. That’s the guy who’s got this whole different attitude about things. He’s probably the weakest character because there’s nothing to him, but it’s because he’s supposed to be the audience watching all this happen. He’s the voice of reason.

What I think is interesting is the evolution of Jaws because Jaws is a character in this movie. He’s the villain. For a little while, the mayor seems like he’s going to be the villain, but Jaws is the villain. Jaws start off being a force of nature and evolve being a monster. It goes almost from a Natural Geographic sciencey movie to a monster movie because at the beginning, he’s just hunting around. Hooper says it. They eat and make little shark babies. That’s what sharks do.

He is going around and eating. He’s not a murderer. By the end of the movie, he’s attacking a boat and trying to kill these people. Jaws takes a turn from being an animal who’s in the wrong spot at the wrong time to being a willful murderer. That’s nothing animals do. No animal would have ever done what Jaws did.

He wouldn’t attack a boat. If he did and didn’t get the food right away, he’d leave. Animals are lazy. They don’t go out of their way. The amount of the amount that shark ate in those five days, however long this goes, he wouldn’t have kept feeding. Sharks don’t feed that much. They eat, go, chill out for a while, and then eat again.

The shark does evolve from being an animal into a monster. It has to. It serves the last third of the movie where that’s all the action and everything that happens. It’s an interesting thing to say. The point is, there’s not a single movie that’s ever had an impact on the general public like Jaws did. It literally shut down the beach industry for an entire summer.

My parents lived in Florida when Jaws came out, and they were like, “Nobody was going to the beach,” which is a great point. I worked on the beach in Jersey when there were shark sightings. They call everybody out in the ocean and would be like, “You can go back in.” They’re like, “We don’t want to go back in. We’re good.”

The fact that he said to that one guy, “Go into the water, and everybody else would follow you.” No. Everybody would watch and be like, “That guy’s going to get eaten.” That was a little ridiculous, but this movie had a major cultural and societal impact. There’s almost every monster movie that’s followed tries to replicate Jaws. Most of them, if not all of them, fail.

This movie is fantastic. I tried to pick some knits to find something wrong with it. All I could come up with is Brody could have been more New York. Other than that, this movie is fantastic. I see your points, Delvin, but I don’t think those points take away from the value of the movie. I don’t think they take away from the point of the movie.

I don’t think they take away from the effect of the movie or the rewatch ability of this movie. This movie is amazingly rewatchable. It’s a timeless movie. It doesn’t matter that this movie was made many years ago. It doesn’t feel any less relevant because sharks are still scary. It captured that. It’s a time capsule of a movie that will last as long as we are watching movies. I agree with KG 100%. This is a 10 of 10 movie.

The first two tens. He’s right. This is the reason we know way more about sharks than we did many years ago because people go, “This is interesting. I had no idea.” It made people start careers in oceanography and marine biology because they saw Jaws. They were like, “I want to know more about that.” All those crazy South African divers you see on Shark Week, I guarantee if you interview them all, 10 out of 10 say, “Jaws is the reason I’m doing this.”

Critics’ five-star reviews are sponsored by GuttingTheSacredCow.com. Every day you find articles about more stuff that doesn’t happen, more movie reviews, movie quotes, kick-ass merch, Gutting The Sacred Cow t-shirts, mugs, hats, and bags. You name it. We got it all. I will say this. A live show is coming soon.

We are looking at late March of 2022. Delvin, get off your butt and get on a plane up here. It’s going to happen at the end of March. Here are critics’ five-star reviews, “Jaws is a grizzly film. Often ugliest scene which achieves precisely what it set out to accomplish. It scares the heck out of you.” I can’t disagree with you more, Delvin. This is a perfect horror film because you don’t see the killer for about half two-thirds of the film.

“Jaws is a splendidly shrewd cinematic equation which not only gives you 1 or 2 very nasty turns when you expect them but, more importantly, knows when to make you think another coming without providing it. Perhaps the most perfectly constructed horror story in our time. The father of all blockbusters.”

GSC 120 | Rating The Jaws
Rating The Jaws: The shark is COVID, and the mayor is all the politicians trying to do the right thing. It’s funny how relevant a movie like that can be so many years later.


“Steven Spielberg’s masterpiece under and above water to this state still makes me scared of swimming in the sea. Jaws is maybe Steven Spielberg’s greatest achievement. It may get more critical. Indiana Jones may be more iconic, but Spielberg’s 1975 adaptation of Peter Benchley’s aquatic thriller is a masterpiece from start to finish.” Fun fact number six, Greg Gootee was reading Jaws when Donna Gootee came into the laundromat and told Greg that she was pregnant with little Kevin. It’s my dad’s favorite story.

Critic’s one-star reviews, “To be fair to this film, and I can’t see why I should be, it is an improvement in Peter Benchley’s book. It didn’t take much, folks. It is a coarse-grained exploit of work, which depends on access for impact. It sure it is a bore of rhyming and awkwardly stage and lumpily written.” Those are the only two 1-star reviews on Rotten Tomatoes regarding Jaws.

Amazon five-star reviews, “Possibly one of the most famous and iconic films of all time. When it came out in the ’70s, it was the first film of its kind. It simultaneously captivated audiences and terrified them. The sad part is this genius can never be replicated. There is no upstaging Jaws. Yes. The shark looks fake, but it’s not about the shark. It’s about the music and the suspense, the terror of the unknown.”

“Truly an excellent movie. My grandmother took me to see Jaws and Star Wars on the release in the summer of 1977 when I was six years old. She’s a wonderful woman. Jaws scared the crap out of me, and I loved every second of it.” I’m going to gaslight this jerk because Star Wars was 1977 and Jaws was 1975, you liar.

“I love this movie as much as it scared me to death. It has a great storyline and the characters played by Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss, and Robert Shaw make this a very worthwhile watch. For those that like watching Shark Week, this is a must for you. It came well packaged and arrived on time. There was no damage to either the case or the disc.”

“My older kids wanted something to scare them on Halloween. What’s better than Jaws? The kids all liked it. It is a long movie, and the sound quality isn’t great. They zoned out during the boring beginning, counting their candy, but loved the thrill and hunts and the second part of the movie.” Don’t bury the lead, stupid. How many Take5s, Milky Ways, and Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups did they get? Take5 is vastly underrated. I dare you.

I went to Hersheypark this summer with my wife, kid, and sister-in-law. They have a huge Hershey store to which we still have candy over here. They were out of Take5s. I was going to buy a bunch and stash them. I can’t keep it on the shelves. Take5s always fly off the shelf. It’s chocolate, pretzel, and magic. It’s what it is. Amazon one-star reviews, “This was a horrible and boring movie.”

I like this person.

This person must have sensory deprivation. “I received it as ordered, but we couldn’t get it to play at all. I was going to return it, but I’m unable to take it to a UPS store for return because I don’t own a phone.”

I hate that person. He’s going to die in that car fire.

They drove 45 minutes to the local library to use the internet. Who wrote this, Sammy ‘The Bull’ Gravano, because he can’t have a phone or Amish Jebediah? The next one, “Profanity.” It’s PG.

That’s it? That’s all he wrote?

This guy is insanely short leash. I bet this guy is a hoarder as well. Profanity. We are from Northeast Jersey, New York City. Was there cursing?

I don’t remember.

The next one, “Movie was tracking too fast, over in 45 minutes.” Someone tell this man to take it off the four times fast-forward.

I don’t know if you watched it at that speed.

I do. I’m starting to realize the company down the city. These people are idiots.

Did the person put the Betty Hill theme in the background as a “Watch this film,” where that girl is getting eaten by the shark on the first day? That would be great. Adding the Betty Hill theme to anything, including porno, is gold. “I rented this movie so my grandson can watch it. I don’t understand why movies this old cost to rent.”

It sounds like if she had old baseball cards, we could buy them all for all the change in our couch cushions. The next one, “This was the film that launched Steven Spielberg’s career. I feel sorry for the shark. The last scene where the shark hunter gets it seems fair enough to me. Why are we supposed to care about him? Did the film give me a reason? Go, shark.”

This is Kevin Israel’s favorite review right now, “At the end of seeing this movie in the summer of 1975, I asked for my money back.” It was that poor. This guy knows how to carry a grudge. Many years later, he still remembers. He asked for his money back. Did he hate The Sting? It’s another Robert Shaw movie. The Sting sucks. Give me my money back. The Sting 2 is terrible. Kevin Israel, I think we know the answer, but did Delvin Cox gut the sacred cow?

I love Delvin. I love every time he’s on the show. I adore him. He’s a fun, great guy who brings a lot of energy, but no, you didn’t gut the sacred cow. The shark is swimming and will continue to swim. This one’s going to stand. I’m sorry, Delvin. I can’t sign off on a gutting this time.

This looks like when Brody was trying to poke you with a harpoon while about to fall in the water. The superficial wounds are not going to stop this juggernaut killing machine. That’s for sure. Delvin Cox, tell the fine folks where we can find you and what you are up to.

I don’t know if I should tell them.

They are going to dox you now. Like I said, “Shaq in Wyoming.” It’s going to happen.

I am not scared of all comers. You can follow me on Twitter @Delvin_Cox. Check out The Delvin Cox Experience anywhere you get podcasts. I will say it again, “F Jaws.” I am staying on my point. One hundred percent I am not backing down. I am not afraid. As a matter of fact, I love you guys. You guys are my brothers. I knew I was going to be able to gut this film, but somebody had to take a stand and say, “Enough of this crap. Let’s stop praising crap.”

Do you know what happened? We were Obi-Wan Kenobi. You were Anakin Skywalker, “Anakin, we have the higher ground,” and then we chop your legs off.

At least I will come back as Vader.

Die again. You have an open invite. You know that. Delvin, we love you. Thank you so much. Kevin Israel, what are you up to? What’s going on?

Kevin Israel for comedy dates, as my calendar is slowly filling back up with some comedy shows. More importantly, leave us a five-star rating and a review on your platform of choice. It helps Kevin Gootee highlights some of the best reviews we get. Some of the funniest ones, like the jerk who gave us a four-star rating because they said we don’t know how to pronounce zeitgeists. There’s only one way to pronounce zeitgeists, and it is zeitgeists. Zeitgeists, kiss my butt. Leave those ratings and reviews because we appreciate it.

I thought it was five-star, but I did a Google ago. This guy is an insane German. I’m German. You know this too. Google sounded the same. I go, “I knew it.” They are screwing this up. That’s Kevin Israel’s word. It’s not mine. KevinGootee.com for NFL picks and all that good stuff. Instagram. Get my daughter treats as she release my pics.

More importantly, go to GuttingTheSacredCow.com. You got to be on the lookout. We will be advertising the live show very soon. Get on that. It’s @GTSCPodcast on Twitter. Don’t forget to subscribe to us on YouTube and tell a friend about how awesome we are, how awesome this episode is, and how awesome Delvin Cox is. I can’t say any better than that. That’s going to do it for now. Thanks again. See you later.


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